


snapshot

by lulumae, psychedelique



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Lovers To Enemies, Smut, crygi, model gigi, photographer crystal, wlw, yes both
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28791834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulumae/pseuds/lulumae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychedelique/pseuds/psychedelique
Summary: Crystal always knew she would be the one to get hurt.The moment she met Gigi, the moment her brown eyes locked with the honey brown ones, she knew that sooner or later, the inevitable would happen. Sooner or later, she knew Gigi would leave.Because Crystal always knew she would never be enough.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Comments: 68
Kudos: 74





	1. "Don't do this to us..."

**Author's Note:**

> hello, we're back!!! for what felt like eternity, yxb are working together again for another clowning cuz with yxb, clowning never ends.  
> anyway, i hope you all enjoy this new story!! it's v v v exciting, even for us <3 have fun! - y ♡

_Crystal always knew she would be the one to get hurt._

_The moment she met Gigi, the moment her brown eyes locked with the honey brown ones, she knew that sooner or later, the inevitable would happen. Sooner or later, she knew Gigi would leave._

_Because Crystal always knew she would never be enough._

_Sure, they got along perfectly but everytime she looked at her in a serene moment, when she was quietly reading for instance, she couldn’t stop thinking about how the calm life she was leading would never be enough for the free-spirited woman. She would stare at her perfectly-shaped nose and plump lips apart for minutes, wondering when she would call whatever they had quits and how she got involved this quick._

_She would think of how she promised to not get attached right before the black-haired woman would turn to her with a little smile on her face and a questioning look in her eyes, which Crystal would distract with a soft kiss before they proceeded to talk about the book, the video or the cat picture on Gigi’s phone. The moment would pass, Gigi would forget about the endearing eyes rather quickly but the ache in Crystal’s heart would linger._

_On that particular day, the red-haired woman could feel the uneasiness in the air. She could see how the other woman would fidget, her leg shaking restlessly whenever she was sitting down. She knew Gigi had something she couldn’t share, and knew the day she dreaded was finally there. She wished she could do something but knowing the taller woman, there’s nothing she could do to make her stay._

_Crystal still chose to work in the darkroom that day, printing stuff she had recently taken and giving Gigi space to gather her belongings. When she finally got out to feed her cat, not seeing the black-haired woman around with her phone down on the coffee table, her heart was heavy. The sound of luggage wheels echoed in the room as she poured the cat food, her cat coming in running after the taller girl._

_Gigi walked closer to where the red-haired woman was kneeling, leaving her luggage near the door before she kneeled next to her to scratch near the ear of the cat, giving her one last pet before she went her own way. Crystal watched with curious eyes as she did so before watching her silently walk back to her luggage when her eyes locked on the red box carrying the very little belongings of Gigi’s._

_“You’re not leaving, are you?” she asked even though she knew the answer. Her eyes locked on Gigi’s fingers wrapped around the handle of the luggage, trying to comprehend the fact fully. The black-haired woman took a deep breath in, looking at the brown eyes about to be filled with tears. A pain struck through her heart before she pulled the courage from the back of her mind to speak._

_“It’s time, Crystal,” she said, but her voice came out shaky, surprising even herself. Crystal walked closer to her, standing right before and looking up to meet the honey brown eyes. Her fingers found the piece of silver jewelry she wore on her wrist, unfastening the clasp easily as if she wasn’t trembling inside. Gigi took a deep sigh before taking the red-haired woman’s wrist in an attempt to give back the bracelet which the woman in front of her rejected quickly._

_“I- I thought we were good… You’ve stayed all this time…” The more the red-haired woman tried to argue, the more draining the experience felt for Gigi._

_“I don’t belong here, you know that,” the black-haired woman stated, gesturing around the house as she did. “All of this… This is all you. Your cat, your home, your life...”_

_“It could be ours, I told you,” the red-haired woman tried to reach for the pale hand but Gigi pulled away from the touch swiftly, “It’s not that, Gigi, I know th-”_

_The taller woman reached for the door handle, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence. She knew those weren’t the reasons she was leaving, she knew it was her gut feeling of never feeling like she belonged, feeling like if she didn’t leave soon enough, she would be left. She also knew if she ever wanted to leave, she had to in that moment._

_Spending all these months with the red-haired woman after promising her a night only, missing her first flight and many more to come as something deep inside her told her to stay a while longer, she knew it wouldn’t be easy. What she didn’t know was how much it would actually hurt, how her heart would feel like thumping on her throat and all her limbs would feel numb and unable to carry her out of the room._

_Nevertheless, her mind was made up at that point, right where she stood next to the door to take one last look at the place that housed some of the best moments of her life. Seeing countless cities, gazing at countless views, experiencing countless people… None of them could compare to the tranquility she had there, none of them could give the feelings looking at the sparkling brown eyes of Crystal’s gave her._

_Gigi had to leave. This was her last exit before the end, and she had to take her chance and go. Although she knew how painful it would be for the woman in front of her, she just couldn’t stay. She was selfish but she had to do it or else she could never escape her own prison._

_“Please, just let me go,” she said with a pleading voice, unable to look at the red-haired woman. Her eyes were only looking at the cat that kept on rubbing its head on her bare leg._

_“Gee please,” Crystal finally got a hold of the slender wrist, tugging on it gently to make Gigi link eyes with her, “It doesn’t have to end like this.” The taller woman immediately switched the positions of their hands, holding onto the woman’s wrist and leaving the bracelet on her palm. She took a final look at the butterfly charm that held a lot of their memories that she didn’t want to hold her back anymore._

_“Don’t do this to yourself Crystal… You promised me,” she said, using all the power in her body to keep her voice firm. But it broke down rather quickly, the next sentence coming out as a whisper, “Don’t do this to us.”_

\---------------------------------------

The red-haired woman stood before the building she has been invited to many times before, taking its glory in under the sizzling sun before thinking if it was the right move one last time. She was used to working alone, letting her creativity flow with no obscure challenges on her way but she needed a change of scenery. Home was restricting her now rather than being her safe place, so she was trying out new stuff. She was stepping out of her comfort zone to create a new one, and it was exciting rather than scary.

She entered the busy building, ready to approach the front desk to ask which floor to go but a woman approached her before she could. “Miss Methyd?” she asked and Crystal furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yes, and you are?” she asked, accepting the offered hand shake from the woman.

“Jackie, I’m Miss Hall’s assistant,” the brunette woman said as she shook her hand. “I will accompany you to her office. She’s very excited to finally meet you.” The two exchanged smiles, the red-haired woman feeling a little bit more at ease from the friendliness of the boss’ assistant.

Crystal followed the woman to the highest floor and then to Miss Hall’s office leading up from a long hallway. The walls were surrounded by beautiful photography of the boss’ previous works, leaving her stunned at how professional it all looked. She was fairly new, so why this important woman wanted to desperately work with her was a question for her.

“She’s waiting for you,” Jackie said to Crystal, who was intimidated by the interior already. The framed photographs felt like art pieces in a museum which she thought were far too incredible compared to her own works. She thanked Jackie with a small smile before gathering the courage to knock once and go in, facing the more beautiful-than-expected woman getting up to greet her.

“Hey! Crystal, right?” she asked, offering a hand. 

The red-haired woman took and shook it with a smile, “Yes. And Miss Hall?” she asked like her name wasn’t all over the building, but Jaida still chuckled kindly.

“Please, just Jaida,” she answered and gestured for her to sit on the chair in front of her table. The shorter woman obliged, smiling nervously as she did so.

The moment she saw the smile on her face, she knew it was the right decision. It all felt like putting the final piece of a puzzle, it went perfect. The meeting went more like two friends chatting about work rather than an interview, Crystal relaxing with each passing second. It wasn’t difficult for her to feel like she belonged already, thanks to the sincere and friendly attitude of the company’s CEO. Soon enough, they were talking about details of when she could start and how excited Jaida was to have her in her team for her next project.

“Do you want to meet the rest of the team?” Jaida asked after a while and Crystal excitedly nodded. She checked her watch before getting up, “Some of them might’ve left but let’s try our chance!” 

The pair went over to the shared area, designed similar to Jaida’s office with light cremes, white and a few colorful pieces spread here and there. It all felt too homey, like a place she could live her creativity in rather than limit it. The red-haired woman walked in, looking up to her now coworkers as they chatted before turning her looks down to scan the area.

Crystal froze when her gaze found an old yet familiar pair of honey brown eyes looking directly into hers, standing next to a desk and seeming like she was talking to Jackie. She could feel her stomach grumble uneasily at the sight before her as a feeling she buried deep down herself resurfaced. “You already met Jackie, my assistant, and this is-”

“Gigi,” she said, her voice broken just like her heart. Seeing her in person after months of yearning was worse than she could have ever imagined. She stood there dumbfounded that she was even still in the country, seeming like she had settled. Crystal’s heart started beating loud, like it was in her ears, as someone approached the black-haired woman and placed a hand on her lower back. She watched as the two interacted, her eyebrows furrowing together at the sight unfolding in front of her.

“Are you ready to go, babe?” the woman asked as Crystal’s ears started ringing. The black-haired woman didn’t answer, her eyes lingering on the red-haired one as Crystal felt like, just for a second, thought that Gigi could feel the pain she was feeling. 

Gigi turned to Jaida with questioning eyes, “She is the photographer we desperately needed?” she asked, spitting her words that was different from the soft-spoken woman Crystal was familiar with. The red-haired woman was taken back with the new attitude, knitting her eyebrows together as she examined the couple before her.

“Yes, and we still do, so please watch your words,” Jaida softly warned but the red-haired woman sensed the authority she had over Gigi. No matter how friendly she was, she was still a respected boss.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Gigi mumbled under her breath, almost impossible for the others around her to hear. Even the air in the shared area felt frozen with tension as the pair stood right before one another, not sure what to make of the other. Crystal’s undivided attention was on Gigi, the Gigi she didn’t seem to know now, overseeing the woman next to her pulling her even closer with questioning eyes.

Jackie joined the conversation with a cheery voice, trying to soften the aura, “You two know each other?”

Just as Crystal was about to answer with a mocking tone, spitting her poisonous words right back, her eyes caught the pale fingers she once adored, wrapping the hand over her waist. She saw a big diamond on the fragile-looking hand, confirming her theory on the settling part and wondering for a quick second: why? Why wasn’t she enough?

Gigi took her opportunity when she caught the eyes lingering on her hand, quickly putting it away whilst Crystal’s eyes stayed on the same spot, “We worked together before, back when I was strictly _just_ a model,” she said with a little laughter. Nobody but Crystal caught up on her fake tone, which brought the dark-haired woman back to earth to put a forced smile on her face. “And, uh yeah, I see you’ve met everyone here, Crystal. Well, except for my fiancée, Alisha.” 

Crystal examined the simpler ring on the hand being offered to her as the pain she felt started to slowly replace with frustration, with anger. “Nice to meet you.” Crystal smiled back, examining the face before her. The woman had a harsh but beautiful face, with piercing blue eyes and blonde hair, and a few tattoos scattered on her arms. Their hands stayed linked more than appropriate before Gigi cut them off.

“We should go Ali, remember our reservation?” she said as their hands parted and the hand that was in Crystal’s a second ago found the one she held on for dear life once. “Congratulations to you Crystal,” Gigi turned to the photographer this time, offering her a small smile that faded rather quickly. Just a few hours ago, Crystal would give anything to hear her say her name again, but this didn’t feel right. It filled her with rage instead of the butterflies she would usually have as she nodded as a response. 

The red-haired woman watched as the couple bid their goodbyes to the rest of the team, a sour look on her face started to go noticed. She felt Jackie’s hand patting her arm as she spoke. “Don’t mind her, she didn’t mean the words that came out earlier. By the way, welcome to the team.”

Crystal tried to keep a friendly smile on her face as her new coworkers greeted her before they all decided to leave the building together. Everyone else parted ways except for that one girl that didn’t leave her mind, Gigi. 

When she first laid eyes on her earlier that afternoon, the sadness she had been working on for the past months started to go back as the pain of the woman leaving her just like that kept playing in her mind. She knew that it might happen even though she wasn’t sure they would ever meet again. She was aware of the fact that the loneliness and the hurt she felt when she left would come back if ever she comes back. However, a new feeling wrapped her heart instead, something she never expected of herself. It was all a mixture of frustration, anger, and confusion that devoured her mind. She was confused by the fact that this free-spirited woman who once told her that all she wanted to do was to be able to fly freely, decided to settle down. The frustration and anger inside her consumed her thoughts as she thought of how the woman could just look at her like nothing has ever happened between them. She felt unimportant, confirming that she was never enough for her. But most importantly, she was mad at herself. She blamed herself for not being able to do whatever things the other girl did to make her stay, to keep her instead of just letting her go. 

She blamed herself in the past and now she did it again, doubting if the two best things that happened to her life were all just a big mistake instead; her accepting this job offer and Gigi. 


	2. Under the streetlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the support you've given in the first chapter. hope you like this next one!! ilysm have a great day! - y

_ A month passed by, light still on every night in the hopes of the red haired woman unexpectedly turning up one day. A month passed by with Crystal still making tea for two, leaving the spare key under the designated plant pot, and keeping her hopes up even though they kept getting smaller with each passing day... Every single day felt longer than the other, every single day felt like a waiting game she knew she can’t win. Although she told herself to stop playing the dangerous game and accept the fact, her heart couldn’t let go just yet. _

_ It was around two months later since the black-haired woman left when the date in the calendar marked a year passing since they met. She thought back to the day she was saving birthdays and a few other special dates in her phone after forgetting a friend’s birthday, turning to Gigi for a moment to wonder if she would be around for their anniversary. She had the answer now, but on that day, when the black-haired woman caught her staring, she had to explain. _

_ “Just… The day we met,” she tried to speak but couldn’t form full sentences first. “It’s coming.” _

_ “As the rest of the days, yeah,” she remembered Gigi saying playfully and earning herself an eye roll. She took a quick glimpse of her nonchalant face, a deep sigh escaped her lips as she tried to cover it with a half smile. _

_ “I was just wondering if you’d be here by then,” she knew she mumbled to herself almost and yet the sentence resonated in the room. She remembered Gigi’s straight face dropping and the room suddenly feeling too cold, sending shivers all over her petite body. _

_ “I don’t know…” Another long silence. Not knowing why Gigi was the way she was ate Crystal inside out, devouring her body anytime it came to her mind. She couldn’t make up why she would have to leave eventually other than the fact of her being free spirited, but the no contact part made no sense to her. Nothing else made sense to her even though she wanted it to be, she wanted to accept anything and everything else just because it was Gigi. _

_ Crystal was alone on her couch, her cat in her lap sleeping comfortably as she drank when she heard the raindrops thumping on her window, bringing her back down to earth. She turned her head to watch the glass get wet, drops of water rushing down when she got reminded of a walk she had with Gigi. It was one of the thoughts that brought her peace even though the rumbling sounds of the rain outside would scare her. It brought her solemnity, almost as much as the woman’s presence was to her months ago.  _

_ Without even giving it a second thought, Crystal was up and about to leave the house to reminisce about the night walk they had. She walked the same route she walked hand in hand with Gigi, getting wet with the rain that concealed her tears. She took a stroll down the street, the same places they would walk to late at night just to spend time with each other after a long day at work. It was peaceful and quiet, like how her memories were for Crystal at this time. Her feet halted to a stop when she reached under a street light, remembering how they drunkenly danced under it whilst they got soaked with drizzling weather. _

_ The drunk girl sat down on the sidewalk, her hands gripping on the cold concrete as her head dropped. There it was again, the same warm feeling wrapping around her heart that reminded her of what she felt whilst slow dancing close to the chest of the taller girl, sharing giggles and soft pecks as they swayed together. The tears were streaming down her eyes just like that day, with the difference being her not acting like they were happy tears this time. _

_ “How am I supposed to forget these?” she remembered mumbling to the black-haired woman’s chest who pulled away to examine her face. She could still feel the hand gently cupping her face and caressing her cheek. _

_ “Forgetting is easy,” she remembered Gigi saying. “You’ll get used to it even quicker than you got used to my presence.” The red-haired woman remembered not believing a word of it as she hugged the girl’s waist tighter.  _

_ “I don’t believe you. Forgetting you will be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.” Crystal didn’t believe any word she said. She knew how easy it was for her to adjust to the new presence, the added presence of the woman she never expected to love this much. Even though she knew it was going to end someday, that she promised herself not to be attached, it was difficult especially when she thought she was the best thing that ever happened to her.  _

_ The cold, slender fingers touched her cheeks once more, wiping off the tears she was trying to hide. “Don’t force yourself to do it. Eventually, you’ll be able to forget me.” _

_ “Is that why you don’t find it hard to not settle down?” Her voice was weak, like a whisper. The idea of the taller woman forgetting her broke her in the most bittersweet way, even happy to get to be around her enough to have something to be forgotten. _

_ She remembered the plump lips covering hers instead of giving an answer, distracting her with how tender her touch still felt even after those words. She remembered the kiss Gigi left on her forehead after that, tears still streaming down her eyes with her drunk state of mind. Her hand found the phone in her pocket without even giving it a second thought, dialing a number she wanted to dial for so long by then. If she wasn’t drunk, she would use the last bit of sense she had left to not call but that wasn’t the case, and she needed an answer she didn’t know if she could handle. _

_ “Hello?” A sleepy voice came from the other end of the line, and the red-haired woman thought of the possibilities of where Gigi could be. She inhaled deeply, her throat feeling like it closed the second she heard the raspy morning voice she adored.  _

_ “You told me forgetting was easy…” _

_ “Crys-” _

_ “No, let me talk,” she cut the woman off. The red-haired woman ran her trembling hand through her hair as she tried to gather her words. “Then forget me, Gee. As long as you don’t ask the same from me, forget me.” _

_ “Who’s that?” A faint voice was heard from the background, someone Crystal didn’t recognize. She could hear Gigi talking softly to respond to whoever it was, her mind trying not to focus on the words that weren’t intended for her but she couldn’t help but listen to it instead.  _

_ “-wrong number, I think. I’ll talk to them and help them get to where they need to be, okay? You go back to sleep now, Ali.” Her mind was too busy focusing on the idea of hearing her past lover’s voice once again to even bother minding whatever words Gigi said to the random person from the background. Then there was a pause, making Crystal think she hung up. “Where are you? Under the streetlight?” The woman at the other end asked after a while, catching up on the slight slurring. “Is it raining there?” _

_ The soft, tender voice broke Crystal’s heart furthermore. She wanted to cuss the woman for making her feel like she cared, but she held it in. Her eyes filled with tears again as she spoke, her hand clenching on the phone just like how the pain of hearing her voice once again crushes her heart. “Yeah… It’s unbearable without you.” A sob escaped her lips as she raised her head to look at the raining sky, letting the raindrops touch her face gently.  _

_ Gigi stayed silent for a second as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat away, “I am with you…” she whispered. “Let’s go home and sleep, okay? Don’t stay there too long.” _

_ “Okay…” Crystal said, lowering her looks back on the street. She waited for a second, trying to gather the courage to ask what she wanted to ask all this time. “Why did you have to go? Am I not enough?” Silence.  _

_ The hung up sound rang in her ear after a few moments of nothing, her words echoing in her mind with a mixture of regret in ever asking the question she knew she would never get an answer from. Even with how many times she asked in the past, Gigi’s answers were never enough. She would rather distract Crystal than answer the same old question she couldn’t fully answer herself without thinking of the life she left behind. A pain striking through the drunk woman’s heart pierced through her chest as she put her phone back in her pocket. _

\------------

  
  


Crystal didn’t know what to expect on her first day at work. Not only did she have to work with an ex, she had to work with an now affianced, runaway ex she didn’t know what to think about. She spent the days leading up to her first day nervous and fidgeting, unsure about how to handle it all. Gigi obviously didn’t want to reveal their relationship, although she didn’t see being exes as too complicated despite the way it ended. If this was someone else, Crystal would do her best to confront them and ask directly but knowing Gigi, she had always been a mystery. 

Despite it all, Crystal was still excited to go and spend her first day in the studio. She was supposed to get used to the work environment until she had a project on her own, helping the photographer and the art director in the process. She already had too many ideas in mind to clear through Jaida to transfer to real life but a warming up day felt like a need anyway.

The red-haired woman found the floor of studios after asking around, reaching the big one she was supposed to be in just in time. Thankfully, the stylist was nowhere to be found yet as the makeup team was rushing to get the models ready. Crystal was used to the chaos right before the shooting as everyone had something to do from the days she worked mainly as an art director, before combining both her works together. Her brown eyes found the photographer setting up the last bits, approaching the woman after dropping her bag off.

“Hey!” she said with her cheery voice, making the brunette woman turn to her.

“Oh, hi!” the woman said as a big, warm smile occupied her face and made the red-haired woman feel relaxed instantly. “You must be Crystal, I’m Brita.”

After the pair got familiar with one another, they got to work as Brita showed her the equipment they had and talked her through the vision she had for the shoot. Crystal listened enthusiastically, taking in every bit of new information she picked throughout. She was so lost in the conversation that she didn’t realize the black-haired woman rushing in and starting to rain orders over assistants.

When Brita suggested Crystal to go over and talk with the art director of the project, she finally locked eyes with the person she was dreading to not see that day, Gigi. Their eyes stayed linked for a second before Gigi turned hers to the art director she was almost fighting with, her whole body tensing up as she started cracking her knuckles like she used to do whenever she was deeply nervous.

Gigi could sense her whole body reacting to Crystal’s presence, all tensed up as she fidgeted with her fingers. Her hair was messily made up in a half up style and her clothing casual to be comfortable which she kept on playing with as she talked with all the people around them except for the red-haired woman. She found herself reminiscing the day they met, how instantly everything seemed to make sense to her. All her life before that day was a little bit of a whirlwind mess, a puzzle that was yet to be solved. However, with Crystal, it was as if there was no puzzle at all. It was an easy life with her, the past months they have shared felt like a little piece of home she didn’t know she could ever have in her life. But it was all cut short when she figured out what was happening and how she felt trapped yet again, the reason she flew far away from her actual home. 

“Gigi, I said you need to choose a different jacket for this look and a different pants for the second one.” The art director’s hand grabbing onto Gigi’s wrist brought her back to reality, remembering how the art director was way too involved in the photographer’s business. It took only a second before she shook herself off and returned to her conversation, accepting defeat and turning back to the clothes sent by the designer to rearrange some she had planned. She took a deep sigh as she went back to the dressing room, holding the pieces of garments that she was told to exchange. 

The red-haired woman’s body ached to approach Gigi and ask her what was wrong, but even when they were in a relationship she was a mystery who wouldn’t open up easily. And, it wasn’t her place anymore anyway, as much as she hated to admit it. So she went on with her work, helping Brita and getting to work on her own for some time. 

Work was tiring but Crystal felt she was getting used to the pace. She avoided Gigi for most of the shoot, even when she caught her staring across the room several times. She was used to seeing a warm look on her eyes when they caught each other’s eyes across the studio and finding courage there, but now all she found was a hint of annoyance mixed with confusion. She was just as confused, flinching on her place when Brita asked her to put some decor back as the rest of the team began leaving.

Crystal took her body to where the hangers and some decor that were lying around. There were too many thoughts clouding her head as she made her way back to the storage room dreamily. She put the stuff in her full arms down as she almost dropped some but she saw a pale arm on her peripheral vision, helping her to let them down properly before she turned to face the taller woman.

They stood awkward, Crystal’s eyes on the flowy blouse on Gigi rather than her eyes before she spoke in a hiss-like manner, “Why are you stalking me?”

The red-haired woman felt the blood rush to her cheeks alongside anger as she met with the honey brown eyes, “Excuse me?”

“You promised me! You promised to let me go the second I walked out, remember?” They both stopped. Crystal’s throat was closing up as the woman before her seemed to be taken back by her own words, “You promised me you wouldn’t try to reach out… Why are you here?”

Gigi’s voice broke, but Crystal could still feel her head spinning with how furious she was feeling. One of her eyebrows raised mockingly before she started spitting her words, “You think I’ve stalked you here? Jaida invited me personally, time after time until I accepted, until I gave in! I deserve to be here.”

It was Gigi’s turn to be taken back now, “Am I supposed to believe this is just a coincidence? You decided to work for someone finally and it happens to be my boss?”

“I didn’t even expect you to be here. Knowing you, you shouldn’t be the one here. But now, you decided to quit modelling, all the travelling, and to get married. You seemed to now be settled. Things change, I guess,” she answered, trying to not show how much it affected her. She had spent months trying to get her to stay even after Gigi reassured many times that she wouldn’t be able to, and it wasn’t Crystal but her. Seeing how she had now seemed to be settled, it pained her. The hurt of not being the one to help her with it, the hurt of feeling lacking and being inadequate for her just continued to consume her.  _ Why was I never enough for you? _ she thought.

“I’ve moved on with my life, you should’ve done the same!” The scream match was continuing when someone else with full arms walked in between it, looking at both of them dumbfounded.

“What do you think I’ve been doi-” Crystal was cut off with a sudden voice that they both heard from the door.

“Gigi? Is everything alright?” The blonde girl asked as they both turned to her with the same exhausted look.

The black-haired woman took a deep breath in to calm herself, putting a little smile on her face to reassure, “Jan…” she mumbled. “It’s just- Work stuff… Are you done? We can go home together.”

Jan examined both of them, sensing something out of place but keeping her mouth shut until a more appropriate time, “Yeah, we can leave as soon as I put these away,” she gestured towards her arms. Crystal got her cue and took a step back from the shelves.

Once again, Crystal’s eyes lingered on the black-haired woman whilst she helped Jan. She turned around, ready to leave but something deep inside her wanted to annoy Gigi, to make sure she wouldn’t be able stop thinking about her out of any reason the whole day. She knew how petty it was but the anger continued to devour her mind. Revenge was never a great answer but at that moment, she was furious at how unexpected everything turned out between the two of them. She thought they could at least be civil but she might’ve been wrong, especially with the conversation they just had. Annoying her was just a little step but she thought it would make her feel good, at least. 

So she turned her heels, putting a little smile on her face, “And, Gigi?” she called, making her turn to her with both eyebrows raised. “That’s an ugly fucking ring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! b here<3 the line “then forget me as long as you don’t ask the same from me” is from a song called “unutamadım” that i used as prompt for this part, just thought i would note that haha anywayyy i hope you liked the chapter, don’t forget to comment if you did andddd see you next time<3


	3. T-shirts? Partners?

_Crystal’s smile grew bigger as the woman wrapped in between her arms faced her, the tip of her finger drawing shapes on her bare chest while her eyes rested on the invisible doodles on her body. She couldn’t help but be mesmerized, her eyes sparkling with happy tears as she continued to stare at the woman she adored._

_Her silence was surprising for the other girl and so she lifted her chin up to meet with her adoring eyes, noticing the huge grin on the red-haired woman’s face. “Why are you smiling like that, love?” Gigi asked._

_As cliche as it might be but hearing the woman’s voice was like music to Crystal’s ears, the corner of her lips almost reaching her ears. “Nothing. I just love looking at you. Is it bad?”_

_“Well, not really. Stare all you want, babe. I mean, I’m an attention whore anyway but... you better keep your promise.” The last word resonated on the red-haired woman’s ears as the taller one scooted away from her and stood up to walk to the kitchen. She could hear a piece of her heart breaking away as the rest followed the woman walking to her kitchen, the happy grin on her face immediately turning down into a frown._

_She was aware that the ending is near for the both of them but she couldn’t help but wonder what the world would be if she was officially hers. Crystal was never the type to always think about the future, she would rather focus on the present and enjoy every waking moment rather than worry about something that was yet to come. It was the same thing with her ‘relationship’ with Gigi, she enjoyed every bit of it while it lasted. She admitted that she almost forgot about the promise and instead focused on showering her all the gifts and happiness she could ever give her at that moment. She couldn’t help it, Gigi was the best thing that ever happened to her._

_Crystal followed the tall woman to the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her waist, burying her face on the crook of her neck as she whispered. “Gee… what if we forget about the promise?” She was persistent._

_“And why is that?” The cold fingers holding onto her forearms were burning her skin with both the warmth from Gigi and the pain that she knew was coming._

_“Be with me. Stay with me instead.” She didn’t mean for her voice to sound like she was begging but it all came out that way as her arms tightened around the taller woman’s waist._

_Gigi closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she caressed the arms holding her. “Crystal…”_

_“I know, I know... But why can’t you just move here with me? You have an amazing job here anyway, we have an amazing house, a cute cat to play with. You have me. What else are you looking for?” Her last question seemed to leave the taller woman in wonderment as she stared off into the distance. What else was she looking for? Crystal made her feel at home but something felt wrong. It was all wrong even though everything she did felt right, felt enough. She was her home but she was not one to stay._

_The black-haired woman finally faced Crystal, cupping her face with her slender fingers. “I’m not one to settle down. You know me, baby. This isn’t the life for me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy all my time here with you.” She leaned in to leave a soft peck on her lips. “You know, you’re one of the greatest things that ever happened to me, love.”_

_With those words, the icy tears wrapping Crystal’s heart melted and the smile on her face went back. She was too weak for her and she wasn’t afraid to show it, evident with the tears streaming down her face which made Gigi laugh. She wiped it with her thumb before leaning in to capture the red-haired woman’s lips, distracting her with the sweetest kiss they have shared._

\-----------------

The black-haired woman’s eyes were locked on her ring, almost zoned out as she felt the other side of the couch sinking in. She examined it like it was her first time seeing it, or maybe even more than her first time seeing it. A copper red-haired woman was in her mind as she extended her slender fingers to see the ring reflect the light before her fiancée got closer and put her hand on the back of Gigi’s neck, playing with the hair there.

“You seem deep in your thoughts,” Alisha whispered as the black-haired woman’s smiling eyes found her blue ones. She expected her to ask about their relationship, why she was thoughtful looking deep into the ring. “I can offer great distraction,” she said, her lips finding the edge of her chin. 

Gigi giggled into the kiss as her fiancée kept placing them, her hand with the ring finding the bare thigh of the blonde’s, “Actually, I’d rather-” Her words were cut off with the lips finding hers. She responded to the kiss regardless, as passionate as the pair had always been.

Soon enough, Alisha’s hands were all over her body, guiding her up to her lap impatiently as their lips never parted. It was passionate, just like the moment their lips first met years before. Gigi, on the lap of her fiancée as the red painted lips found her neck and left her in short breaths, tried to enjoy it as much as possible. The fingers getting rid of her blouse were fiery, her hair getting messy quick enough before they led to the bedroom whilst discarding their clothing on the way.

She had no idea how long they had spent under the sheets but as soon as the loving act was done, Gigi found herself wrapped with the blanket alone as her fiancée stood up and headed for the bathroom. “Where are you going, babe?”

“I forgot I need to do some more work tonight.” Alisha brushed her fingers through the hair blocking Gigi’s face. She took a quick glance as she saw the dark-haired woman making space for her under the blanket. 

“Can’t we cuddle for a bit before you get back to work?” Her eyes weren’t used to beg like that but all she wanted was a little bit of affection other than the passionate sex they just had a couple of minutes ago. 

The blonde raised an eyebrow as she looked at her with confusion painted all over her face. “I thought you didn’t like cuddles.” 

Gigi was taken aback by the question, realizing how her arms and body craved for something other than sex. She yearned for the affection that comes with it, the sweet nothings exchanged as she smiled back to whoever she just made love with. Little did she know that another person came to mind as she all thought of those, the stranger she once met that introduced her to a whole new world she never knew she could have. Everything with that woman was a whole new experience and it all had a lasting effect on her that even up to that day, she could still remember it all. She longed for that kind of touch, the one where it would make her feel giddy and happy, the butterflies on her stomach fluttering inside her as the other person touches her with a warm smile on her face. She wanted all of it back. 

The tall woman noticed her reflection on the mirror by her bedside, seeing the huge smile that appeared on her face. It turned upside down as her eyebrows furrowed together, bewildered by the sudden warm feeling wrapping her chest. She shook her head off as if that would help her throw away all the unwanted thoughts she had as she buried herself under the sheets, pushing herself to sleep instead. 

The sleep didn’t help as Gigi continued to long for some unknown cravings she had deep inside her heart. She labeled them as affection, wanting Alisha’s full attention whenever they were spending time together at home. She was aware of how busy her fiancée had been over the past few weeks and that it was the cause of them spending less and less time with each other. The black-haired woman wanted to be mad, to demand more time from her girlfriend as she continued to be deprived of all she wanted from their relationship. However, she tried to reassure herself that it was all just because they had to keep themselves busy with work in order to save up money for the wedding they had been planning for the last few months. A wedding was something she never dreamt of but Alisha still made her a promise to make sure it was perfect. 

“She won’t be busy anymore after the wedding. Just wait for a little bit more…” Gigi talked to herself as she stared at her own reflection on the mirror, seeing the beads of water flowing down from her cheek alongside the tears she didn’t know she had been holding back. It had been sort of an everyday routine for her, to cry unknowingly in the middle of the day as she thought of her girlfriend who she barely even saw. “Patience.” She convinced herself as she wiped off the wetness of her face with a paper towel. 

As soon as she exited the restroom, she passed by some of her coworkers’ work cubicle, noticing two figures at the other side of the room. She saw the blonde woman who was standing behind Jackie, leaving what it seemed to be a surprise cup of coffee for the hard working secretary. She observed as the brunette glanced up and was face to face with Jan, the two exchanging sweet smiles and a hint of red on their cheeks. The sight she was seeing was too adorable for her liking, reminding her of her once sweet memories with her girlfriend. A mixture of emotions came rushing by her as she pushed herself to go back to her office, to ignore the longing she had been feeling for her fiancée that was always absent. She was both mad and sad at the outcome of their relationship even though she did her best to convince herself that Alisha would go back to her sweet persona once all was settled. Gigi couldn’t wait for that time to come, for her to go back to the old Alisha and Gigi she was used to. 

As she entered her office, she saw a cooper red-haired woman standing in front of her desk as if staring at all the mess on top of it. She knew who it was and immediately, her blood started to boil in annoyance. She knew there was this unknown tension between them, which she thought was the unheard and buried feelings from the last time they were together. Gigi wished for Crystal to move on and forget everything they have been through but she couldn’t bring herself to do the same. 

She snapped, not even giving it a second thought, “What are you doing in my office?” 

Crystal was caught off by surprise but made it seem like she wasn’t phased. She ran her fingers along the glass desk, staring at the polaroid photographs Gigi kept with her, hung on the corkboard on the wall next to her desk. “I didn’t know you were making a collection.” The black-haired woman raised an eyebrow as she made her way to her chair, her eye not catching what Crystal was pointing at yet.

“Collection of what?” she mockingly asked right before she saw the picture the dark brown eyes were lingering onto. It was a picture the photographer before her took in a serene moment they’ve shared. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt of Crystal’s, one of her pale shoulders on display with a little laugh she had on while looking down on the mug she had in between her fingers. Her black hair was messy and her face pale, showing her in a natural state, but it was the most beautiful view to Crystal then.

“T-shirts? Partners? T-shirts of your ex-partners?” the red-haired woman answered with a questioning tone, her eyes finding Gigi’s, “I don’t know, we were never labelled. You don’t label until your partner pops the question, I guess.” 

Gigi put on an irritating, little smile on her face, “That’s none of your business now, is it? Still curious, I see,” she provoked, tilting her head to the side in a mocking motion.

Crystal felt the blood rushing to her cheeks as the black-haired woman teased her over her curiosity like she used to. This time, it was hostile rather than endearing, “Don’t worry, baby, it’s not for you anymore,” she answered just as petty, through her gritted teeth and a reflection of Gigi’s fake smile.

The black-haired woman kept herself from rolling her eyes and changed the subject, “What do you want?”

“The outfits for the next shoot-” Crystal started, dropping her open folder on the desk before Gigi. She pointed at the printed look of the outfits, shaking her head.

“There’s nothing wrong with any of them,” she made known without letting the photographer finish. Crystal reminded herself to stay professional over work issues as she took a deep breath in and leaned down to show a specific one.

“This one won’t work. It’s repetitive, and the jacket doesn’t match the period we are going for,” she showed. Gigi’s eyebrows knitted together as she examined the predetermined outfit she put together.

“No, it’s not, and it does match,” she replied, not even bothering to explain her vision.

“Gigi-”

“Didn’t know you went back to your old job, but old habits die hard I guess,” she said over Crystal policing the whole shoot. It was the definition of blowing low to remind the red-haired woman how trapped she was feeling whilst doing check-ups over other people’s work before she took up photography with her encouragement, combining her work with something she loved more. She didn’t let Crystal argue back once more, meeting her eyes, “Take it up with me during the shoot and we’ll see what we can do about it then, shall we?”

“You’re just making your job harder.” Crystal took the folder back, gripping her fingers on it before taking a step back. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, you child.” She couldn’t keep herself from insulting as she walked off, furious over the amateur attitude.

Gigi’s slender fingers reached for the picture her ex-partner took, taking it off the board to stuff in a drawer as her eyes lingered on her pictures with her fiancée. She could see the difference between them, from how natural and happy she looked with the presence of the red-haired woman to how dolled up, more put together she looked next to Alisha. 

She shook her head to get rid of her thoughts, only to be stuck with thinking of why she was furious over Crystal’s existence. She felt violated in a way, like Crystal was someone who wasn’t supposed to see who she actually was outside of the safe space they’ve shared for months. Still, how defensive she was against her didn’t make sense, even to her.

Crystal went back to the common area, plopping herself to a chair after dropping the folder down harshly. The last thing she needed in a new work environment was the hatred from someone she yearned for months before she could even get used to the place. She was just as furious, mostly at herself, overseeing how oblivious she was of the current situation of her ex-partner. Questions were tumbling around her mind, questions she obviously couldn’t get the answer of now. All she had left to do was try to use this wonderful opportunity of a job to her good despite the feud she had.

Jan, who thankfully didn’t ask any questions after seeing her argument with Gigi from before, interrupted her deep thoughts, “What’s wrong?” 

Crystal looked up to meet her eyes with a kind smile, looking over to where she was working on, “Nothing,” she said with her high but defeated tone, “I just need this project to be perfect, you know. My first one here and all that.”

“Jaida wouldn’t call you this insistently if she didn’t trust your talent. You have nothing to be worried about,” the blonde reassured as her brunette girlfriend approached the chatting pair. Her hand found Jan’s shoulder as Jan’s eyes met with her, her smile getting bigger. 

“You know, as Jaida’s assistant, I should tell on you two for chatting,” she joked. She seemed just as bored as the shift was almost ending and it was a rather untroubled day. Crystal laughed as Jan rolled her eyes before Jackie started making small talk, “Crys, you just moved to the city, right?”

“I’m not even fully unpacked yet,” Crystal groaned, remembering the boxes she still had to tackle. “On the bright side, the cat loves all the boxes laying around.”

“Oh my god!” Jan exclaimed, making both of them turn to her, “You know what this calls for, right babe?” she asked Jackie as Crystal sat puzzled.

“The girl said she couldn’t even settle in yet!” the brunette protested as if she read her girlfriend’s mind. 

“Uh, what does it call for?” the red-haired woman interrupted awkwardly as the blonde’s excited looks turned to her.

“A housewarming party!” Crystal was taken aback by the sudden offer, but it didn’t sound like that bad of an idea. “We can all get closer, and relax before the big shoot too. Come on, I’ll help you with everything. I love hosting!”

The red-haired woman’s eyes found Jackie as she felt like a better authority, “She does!” she shrugged. “I mean, it could be good for you to get to know everyone. I mean, if you don’t mind inviting strangers to your place...”

“Okay! Why not?” Crystal gave in as the blonde clapped her hands excitedly. 

Her excitement was cut short when she heard the cheerful voice of Jan inviting over someone unexpected, looking behind Crystal as she spoke. “You and Alisha should join us too, Gigi!” 

“Join what?” The stylist replied, looking at both Jan and Jackie before her eyes met the emotionless brown ones that belonged to Crystal. She immediately looked away, avoiding the red-haired woman’s gaze who continued to stare at her as she wished for her to disagree. 

“We’re having a party for Crystal. I’ll send you a proper invite as soon as she tells me her details. Don’t you both miss it!” The blonde continued as she handed her phone for Crystal to enter her address. She hesitantly followed, typing in her address while continuing to wish for Gigi’s rejection for the invite. 

“Sure! When?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they get on our nerves as much as they get on yours....


	4. "Why does she love Gigi?"

_Hearing the sound of the front door happening has never made Gigi more excited than she was in that day before, bored out of her mind after hours spent without Crystal. Even though they were basically living together, she still felt she missed the red-haired woman whenever they worked different days, making her concerned for the time she would have to leave. She pushed the thought away, ignoring it just like any other day, as she looked up from the couch she was sitting on with the cat by her side._

_“Hey baby!” she called, examining Crystal as she dropped her bags and hung her keys tiredly. “Hard day?” Gigi asked as she pulled her legs under herself after putting her phone down on the coffee table._

_Crystal turned to the black-haired woman, making her way to the couch, “I’m sorry baby, but I hate models!” she whined, dropping herself down on the couch and making the cat leave. She shook her head behind Pumpkin, making Gigi giggle before continuing. “I- Just- Such a diva!” she blurted out, obviously frustrated over the models she worked with that day._

_The black-haired woman leaned in to leave a sweet peck on the pink lips she adored, a smile growing on her face as the other woman responded with just as much affection as she gave her. “Why are you kissing a model if you hate them so much?” she joked, making Crystal roll her eyes._

_“You’re bearable… usually,” she joked back. Gigi let out a little laugh before Crystal left another peck on her lips and got up to change into more comfortable clothing. Her own behavior got Gigi thinking, how she couldn’t even stand jokes like that with Alisha. She would withdraw, thinking every word of the conversation again and then again until she was convinced she was doing something wrong. With Crystal, she was sure it was a joke, the warmth in her eyes kept her reassured. She knew for sure that the red-haired woman would never call her an annoyance in a serious manner, like how the blonde did from time to time._

_“But I actually am an annoyance sometimes,” she thought to herself before getting up to distract herself from her thoughts. She made her way to the bedroom after Crystal, finding her getting dressed but not letting her. Her pale fingers found the tan waist to turn her around as a big smile occupied Crystal’s lips to the surprise, clashing their lips together as she pulled her closer._

_She pushed the shorter woman to the bed, climbing on top of her as their lips never parted. Crystal’s hands went discovering all over her body before she pulled away for one second to examine her. The slender nose, the big, curious eyes, the mellow smile… It was all too perfect, too much for Gigi to accept for herself._

_“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered before leaving a quick peck. Her eyes searched the room after that, finding one of Crystal’s old cameras on her bedside table. She reached easily as the red-haired woman’s hands stayed on her waist, keeping her warm. “How come you’re always the one taking pictures?” Gigi asked before placing an eye behind the camera, ready to take a snap of the beauty her eyes had the opportunity to witness._

_“Because you are the beautiful one!” Crystal whined as she covered her face with a giggle, making Gigi lower the camera. She heard that sentence so many times until then that it felt like it lost the meaning of it, that it was all empty words but when Crystal expressed it, it was real again. It kept repeating in her mind, making her face flustered with shyness and happiness at the same time as she stared at the woman beneath her._

_“You don’t even know you’re beautiful!” Gigi exclaimed as the woman under her peeked in between her fingers, giggling to her as she took another picture. The pair made out a little more after the black-haired woman finally put the camera down, right until she could hear Crystal’s stomach grumble and make them both laugh._

_“Pizza?” she asked, and Gigi nodded excitedly. She put her t-shirt on before leaving the room to go order, leaving the model alone with her thoughts again._

_Gigi dropped herself on the bed, covering her face with her hands as she felt too caught up with whatever she had with Crystal. The day she had to leave was coming, and it felt like it was coming faster than ever the more she wanted to take a step back and stay in the moment._

_“You have to decide, Gigi! I can’t keep waiting for an answer as you run away every single time.” Alisha’s words from months back ringed in her mind. She couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t say yes to the proposal then, all she wanted to do was make sure it was the right choice since all she knew in terms of a relationship was with the blonde woman._

_The furious look in her blue eyes filled her vision, the fire spitting eyes against her cowardly ones as she was getting ready to make her proposition. “Give me a year,” she remembered herself sheepishly saying after fighting for the longest while. She remembered the confused look on Alisha’s face, “One more year to do my job, and to experience a lot of things. You have to understand, Ali, I can’t make sure when you’re all I’ve known.”_

_She remembered sensing Alisha think they didn’t need that, but gave in since it was the most Gigi had stood against her on something since the day they met. Gigi clearly didn’t want to end it fully, but she also didn’t want a rushed decision. So, when Alisha accepted to take a break for her to be at peace with her decision, she felt like she had somewhat of a say in the relationship for the first time in a while. She was selfish after being selfless for Alisha all those years._

_Gigi remembered feeling trapped whilst Alisha awaited her answer. She couldn’t think of a life without her, without being the duo they were always known for. She thought no one else would put up with her annoyance, in Alisha’s words, or her busy schedule. The break was needed, but she could see herself going back._

_She was determined to go back, to leave the peace she had come across within the arms of Crystal. Because that was what she was intended to do, what she promised to herself and to her girlfriend. But as soon as that thought came across her mind, a small figure leaned herself on the door frame, smiling back at her with the eagerness that she had never seen before. Crystal, with her oh-so-infectious smile and joy, was standing by the door, holding the phone as she asked what kind of pizza they would be getting that night. Crystal, who had been her home for the past months after running away from her past self, was standing there and waiting for her, unknowingly waiting for the end they both knew was coming._

\-----------------

  
  


“They said you should come too.” Gigi stated as she clasped the beautiful necklace on Alisha’s neck before the blonde faced her and put her arms on her hips, pulling her close. 

“Alright then, as long as you stay close to me. I might miss you a little bit.” The dark-haired woman’s face went pink at the sudden sweet words before an eyebrow slowly started to raise. 

“So clingy… Are you in love with me or something?” She blurted out, surprising herself for making a little joke too.

“How can I not be when you look this beautiful, babe?” Alisha leaned in to give a tender kiss on Gigi’s lips which turned out to be a quick makeout session from the two. 

“You’re oddly sweet to me tonight. I honestly miss this.” True, it was one of the things Gigi missed about her relationship with Alisha. It had been awhile since they were out on a date or was affectionate towards each other and this time felt so special and sweet, yet weird. She wasn’t the one who would usually initiate a sweet moment between the two and having Alisha starting all these flirting seemed a little off yet Gigi decided to just let it slip and enjoy it while it lasted. Who knew when or whether her fiancée would ever be sweet with her again. At that point, she pushed herself to be content with whatever they had at that moment. 

“Anyway, what’s the deal with you and the newest addition to the team… Crystal, is it? Is she treating you well in the office?” Gigi blinked as she was taken back to reality, looking at Alisha before glancing at her watch. Her cheeks were getting flustered at the mention of the photographer’s name, keeping her head low as she averted her fiancée’s attention. 

“Mmh. Yeah well, we should get going. We are getting pretty late.” She avoided answering the question, not wanting to think of the unexpected growing hostility between the two in the office. She didn’t want to think of Crystal anymore but knew it was going to be hard since she would be the main star of the party she and Alisha were attending. 

At last, the couple finally arrived at the location where the party was being held. Jan was the one who opened the door for them as Crystal was busy greeting her guests and chatting with her new coworkers. Gigi stepped in at the new home, feeling an eerie sensation brush up to her as she looked around the place. 

“Gigi, Alisha, you both are finally here!” Jan slurred her voice, letting the couple know that she may have had a few drinks before they came. Jackie was behind her, helping her with a courteous smile on her face as she also welcomed the guests.

“Can you get us some drinks? I just need to take this call,” Alisha asked before walking to the back of the house, leaving the stylist alone. Gigi continued walking around to locate the kitchen, watching as the others poured themselves their own drinks. She followed their lead and walked to where the cupboards were, trying to find two empty glasses for the both of them. However, there were only mugs available and she decided to settle on those. 

“Typical Crystal.” She mumbled to herself as she found the mismatched mugs hanging on the countertop. To her surprise, a rainbow colored mug that had a single butterfly painted on the corner caught her eye. It was the same cup she got for Crystal from a random trip to the mall a long time ago. It brought a small smile on her face which was immediately replaced by her eyebrows scrunching together as she noticed the ring on her hand that she used for reaching the mug. 

It got her all confused when she realized how most of the things around Crystal’s new place were brand new as well, except for the tiny little things. She was reminded of the last phone call they had, how the red-haired woman begged for her to not make her forget about their relationship. That memory reminded her of the sobs she heard from the other line while she wished for her to be able to run back to her instead and wipe away all the tears on her face. But she couldn’t, and she didn’t. 

Gigi was brought back to reality when something fluffy brushed up against her leg. When she looked down, she saw a white cat with large orange spots on her body, making her smile. The cat looked up at her and purred before Gigi decided to bend down and greet the cat she once loved so much. 

“Hey Pumpkin sweetie.” She picked the pet up and held it in her arms as the cat snuggled on to her. “How are you doing? Did you miss me? I’m sorry I was gone for a long time.” She was busy talking and planting little kisses to the cat that she didn’t notice her fiancée coming to the kitchen. 

“Babe, what drink do we have here?” Alisha took the rainbow mug and poured herself her own drink as she realized Gigi was busy with the cat, glancing at her fiancée diverting her attention back to the cat. She felt the blonde’s arm wrapped around her waist as she put a different cup with a pink liquid inside next to her on the counter. “Is this Crystal’s cat? She’s cute, but you better not want one.” She said in a seemingly uninterested voice as her eyes focused on her phone again while the other hand was holding onto Gigi’s waist. The black-haired woman furrowed her eyebrows, remembering how much she missed Pumpkin and having a cat around the house despite her fiancée’s dislike for them.

A somehow high voice shook Gigi as she heard Jan talking from the door. “Why do cats not like me?” She asked as Jackie held her hand and guided her to the kitchen. “Pumpkin doesn’t like most of the people here! Why is she so clingy to you?”

“Clingy to whom?” Another voice entered the room. Gigi looked up to see the main star of the party, her eyes widening as she realized she was holding Crystal’s cat, remembering her offer of Pumpkin being theirs alongside the happy memories they’ve had with her. 

“Gigi! Pumpkin loves pretty girls,” Jan whined while slurring once again, making her girlfriend giggle, “Am I not pretty enough babe?” 

“Oh gosh, you must be drunk Jan,” the brunette woman exclaimed as she guided her girlfriend to lean on the kitchen island, “You need to drink some water,” she said as she scrambled to the fridge, looking for water for her girlfriend. 

“Well, uhm…” Crystal said awkwardly as she walked towards Gigi, brushing her fingers through her cat’s fur. The petty side of her didn’t want to let her even pet her cat. Remembering how much the pair loved one another annoyed her, even though she adored it at the time.

“Oh, yeah.” Gigi handed the calm cat, who was used to both women taking turns to pet her. The cat jumped off of Crystal and landed on the counter, the red-haired woman putting her on the floor instead quickly to make sure she wouldn’t get used to the counter. They watched the cat walk away to Crystal’s bedroom, tired of everyone chasing her around to pet her.

“I can’t understand how you can keep one of those around,” Alisha said jokingly, but Crystal hated her cat being called _“one of those”_. 

“Pumpkin,” she said at the same time with the black-haired woman, making her fiancée look at them both awkwardly. Crystal cleared her throat before continuing, “Her name is Pumpkin.”

“Why does she hate me?” The whining made the three of them turn to Jan with her girlfriend by her side, trying to get her to drink some water which she refused by shaking her head side to side. Crystal let out a little laugh before answering.

“She’s just a little shy, that’s all,” she said but Jan’s pout didn’t break, “Just come around more and she’ll get used to you. See, now we have an excuse to meet up and share all the office gossip.”

The blonde girl seemed almost convinced, “Then why does she love Gigi?”

Crystal was left dumbfounded by the question, turned to look at Gigi instinctively who tried to play it cool and just shrugged. She realized her fiancée’s looks on her, confused but not that caring. Then Alisha decided she was bored with drunk Jan, answering for Gigi.

“Who doesn’t love her?” she joked with a monotone voice, leaving a little kiss on Gigi’s cheek which made her look away from the red-haired woman. It disturbed something in Crystal, a part she didn’t know that still existed felt a slight ache.

Jan giggled, not realizing Alisha’s fed up tone towards her, “Will we be like that in five years too, sweetie?” she asked Jackie as a heaviness sat down on Crystal’s chest. _Five years; not five months, definitely not five weeks…_ She heard Jan clearly saying five years, confused about the almost a complete year she spent with Gigi.

“Hopefully she won’t make you wait for a year to accept your proposal though,” Alisha’s joke didn’t seem funny for Gigi, making her glance at the red-haired woman’s puzzled face. The couple in front of them laughed before Jackie turned to face her girlfriend, too focused on enjoying the drunkenness of her to realize how the aura between Crystal and Gigi shifted to even worse.

Jackie’s sweet words came to the red-haired woman as nonsensical voices as she once again turned to her ex-partner, both eyebrows raised with a fake, big smile occupying her face. Her eyes were about to water up before she spoke, her voice breaking involuntarily, “How sweet,” she said to the pair, a piece of her heart breaking away. 

Gigi’s eyes were filled with worry as her fiancée thanked her ex-partner from her side. She knew Crystal, despite the months they’ve spent apart, she still knew her and could tell she was about to break down. She fidgeted with her fingers as she watched Crystal excuse herself, mumbling about talking to the other guests as she left the kitchen with paced steps.

“I need to… Uh, use the restroom,” she excused herself right after the red-haired woman, her body aching to go find her and make it right with her. She knew how it looked from Crystal’s point of view, and no matter how much they couldn’t stand one another at the moment, she needed to make things right.

She rushed to the living room, looking around to detect the messy red waves. Her eye caught on the door of the terrace-like balcony, and she instantly knew Crystal would be headed there. She liked outdoors, the fresh air was her escape whenever she needed to take a step back. So, Gigi reached the door, making sure to close it tight behind her as the red-haired woman turned to her.

“It’s not what it seems like,” Gigi could barely choke out as she made her way to the petite, shivering body near the edge. Her eyes locked on the trembling bottom lip, seeing how much Crystal was fighting her feelings off.

A mocking, hurt chuckle left Crystal’s throat, an ache in her heart as she spoke, “This is so unfair… For me, for your fiancée…” She stopped to sniffle, her hand running through her hair. “This is so fucking unfair! Who the fuck gets anything out of any of this?”

Her feelings were all over the place. The last thing she expected to be was the other woman, and she didn’t know how to handle this new piece of information. Was she supposed to tell Alisha? Or did she already know? She couldn’t place herself anywhere, feeling so misinformed about the woman she thought she once knew so much about. She didn’t know what her place was for Gigi, or even who Gigi was. She felt like a stranger, to the situation and the black-haired woman.

“Crys, please…” Gigi tried to speak again, but the red-haired woman wouldn’t let her just yet.

“You don’t get to call me that!” she answered. “You don’t get to leave me, make me feel like I’m not enough, come around with your fiancée and pet my cat… Once _our_ cat… You don’t get to make me remember how happy I was with you just to make me realize it was all a lie.”

Crystal’s words hurt, but not being able to comfort her hurt more. Gigi took a step in, getting closer to the petite woman, “Please, listen to me…” she begged, her eyes filling up too. 

“I loved you…” Crystal’s voice lowered. The sentence hit Gigi like a fast car, a sentence they never dared to tell one another before, “To the point of my destruction, I loved you… When you left, the whole world left me with you!” 

Crystal stopped to examine her, unashamed of her feelings she tried to suppress for the longest while, even when they were together. The black hair looked like spilled ink over the pale shoulders through her glossy eyes. She looked glorious, and Crystal hated every bit of it, “Please stop…” Gigi begged again, her voice weak. She couldn’t handle hearing the stone cold truth, and wouldn't be able to go back to her fiancée after the scene unfolding before her.

“Why would I? Did you stop to think of me for a second? You never gave me a proper reason, and I respected your choice all this time. For what? To figure out I was the second choice this whole time, that I was the ads on a long movie? Fuck you, Gigi! You can go to hell as long as you’re away from me!”

She stormed out, heading straight to the bathroom and leaving Gigi stunned out in the cold. She couldn’t cry, not yet at least. Every word from Crystal made her hate herself more, desperately wanting to explain but knowing she would never listen at that moment. So, Gigi left, leaving her fiancée behind to get some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late update says hiieeee,,,,, this should clear some things upppp methinks, and yes, it's pumpkin again bc we are emotionally attached  
> hope you liked the update, leave a comment if you did and see you next time!!  
> 🧿🧿🧿 this is for y lol


	5. Old habits die hard

_ “Thanks for walking me home.” Crystal whispered as she leaned against her door, playing with Gigi’s fingers that she had been holding ever since they left the restaurant they had dinner from. She was obviously delaying the model’s departure, which Gigi noticed and didn’t mind. _

_ The small gesture made the taller woman smile as she gazed at the red-haired woman fidgeting with her fingers. “Yes, Crys?” She asked when she noticed the shorter woman looking at her. It was the first time she noticed how big her lenses were, she was sure they weren’t that huge earlier but seeing how she was pleading for her to stay made sense.  _

_ “Uhm… do you want to come in for coffee or something?” she asked, her high tone cracking which Gigi found herself to adore.  _

_ The black-haired woman pressed her lips together before swiping a red lock over the tan face, “You know I have to go.”  _

_ “Please,” Crystal tried her chance once more, but gave in when she saw Gigi’s thoughtful gaze, “Fine, I know I’ll see you again tomorrow anyway.”  _

_ Gigi sighed, finally giving in even though the woman before her gave up already. She knew she couldn’t resist Crystal’s charm, making her roll her eyes as she patted her cheek. “Fine. Let’s have some coffee. Or tea, I like tea.”  _

_ “Of course!” Crystal’s excitement was very evident from her voice as she pulled Gigi inside her humble home. “Wait for me here. I’ll make you some tea in the kitchen.” She left the model in her living room, quickly walking to the kitchen as she prepared for their tea.  _

_ While Crystal was preparing for their warm drinks, she was surprised to see a figure in her peripheral vision, almost hurting herself with the hot teapot.  _

_ “I didn’t know you have a cat.” The voice said as she made her way to where Crystal was standing. The red-haired woman looked at the direction where the voice was coming from, seeing Gigi carrying the cat in her arms, the furry animal snuggling against her.  _

_ “Oh, hi. Yeah, I see you’ve met Pumpkin…” she walked over to the pair after putting the teapot down, scratching behind the cat’s ear. “I’m surprised she let you carry her. She’s usually not into people she met only once.” _

_ Gigi giggled as she watched Crystal and Pumpkin interact, the cat purring in her arms. She joked, but they both knew there was some truth to it. “Everyone likes me.” _

_ “Yeah, I do too,” Crystal answered so casually that Gigi was taken back. Her eyes locked on the shorter woman’s face whilst she still was focused on the cat, trying to understand if it was a joke or not. Crystal’s gaze turned to her after she realized she was being watched, “What? How much time do we have anyway? Better make the most of it,” she shrugged. _

_ Gigi thought about her flight coming in a few days, realizing how accurate the red-haired woman was. She loved the way Crystal always seemed to live in the moment and the moment only, so she went along with it. First, she let the cat down carefully, making Crystal slightly regret her words she didn’t react to yet. Then she did something she never expected from herself. She grabbed the shorter woman’s chin, pulling her closer to plant a soft peck to her lips. _

_ It felt right to kiss Crystal, to push her small body towards the counter and feel all of her up. Gigi was kissing hungry whilst the red-haired woman’s fingers were serene, tracking her curves with so much care. Soon, she was matching the calming energy of the woman she had known to be very energetic before, her kiss turning tender whilst their bodies melted into one another. _

_ The kettle began to whistle as the water boiled, startling the two. Crystal was the one to pull away, staring at the plump lips she was just kissing moments ago. “Oh… uhm, yeah the tea.” She was about to jump off the counter when Gigi reached for the stove and turned it off before cupping her cheeks once more to pull her into a kiss.  _

_ “Let’s just have that tea later or tomorrow, maybe?” The model mumbled in between the red-haired woman’s lips as she held onto her hips, the other wrapping her legs around the taller woman’s waist. She felt Crystal’s lips smirking against hers as they kissed.  _

_ “Why not?”  _

_ The couple made their way to the bedroom, Gigi gently placing the shorter woman on top of the bed as she hovered on top of her. Their lips stayed together, melting into one another as they made out.  _

_ Crystal thought it was the happiest moment she had shared with the black-haired woman, oblivious of the following months to come that she wouldn’t anticipate. She was the kind of person to live in the moment and barely think of the future, especially knowing the upcoming flight the model had. She knew she had to leave soon and so Crystal cherished every moment with her. She did until the very last day Gigi stayed the night with her.  _

\-----------------

“Okay doing great, now can you pose like you ar-” Crystal was busy talking to the models as her first photo shoot with the company began. She was standing in front of the prop they had for the day when she felt a hand touching her back, excusing her from the scene and giving the rest of the models a quick break before they continued. 

“Sorry for interrupting, Crystal. Someone just wanted to meet you.” Jan said as she led Crystal behind all the screens and lights, introducing her to a tall woman with platinum blonde hair. The red-haired woman shook the hand that was offered to her as Jan left the scene.

“Nicky Doll, from Doll Management,” the taller woman said with a kind smile on, but Crystal already knew who she was. She remembered her old company also working with Nicky, and hearing Gigi talk about how she found her fascinating since she was a model for her management too.

“Crystal Methyd,” she said, waiting for a response to her name but the icy, beautiful face before her didn’t shift. 

“What a lovely name!” Nicky exclaimed, taking all of Crystal in. She was observing but the red-haired woman didn’t mind it. She also took her time to examine the elegance of Nicky, realizing how poised her movements were even when she was in high heeled boots in the middle of nowhere, the breeze not even slightly messing her sleek hair. 

The two talked about the models as they took their break, also talking about the new job Crystal was in. Nicky was already familiar with a few of her freelance works before and was excited to be able to work with her talent. The photographer was shy and at the same time proud at how her works had become. 

They proceeded to talk about work, Nicky expressing how happy she was to have her in the team now. The chat went on before the next model was ready, and Crystal was called back by Jan. She went back to her job, losing track of her surroundings whilst she was too caught up on the shots and everything else to even realize the black-haired woman watching her shamelessly from where she was standing.

Gigi was supposed to focus on the outfits, to see if it worked well and if there were any changes needed, if there were any wardrobe malfunctions. Instead, all of her focus was on Crystal; her messily tied up hair, the way she knitted her eyebrows everytime she looked at the screen, the way her face lit up when she got what she wanted… She looked beautiful, Gigi had to admit. With her orange jacket that was two sizes too big and her perfectly ripped jeans to reveal the tan skin Gigi liked to explore every inch of, she looked as beautiful as her eye caught the assistant running around, growing to like her right that instant. But with the breeze of the hill on her face, Gigi craved her warmth more than ever. She remembered the hands wrapping hers as they had their morning tea on the porch, the tea getting cold as their hearts warmed up with the presence of each other. 

Ever since the night they got to talk during the housewarming party, Crystal never left Gigi’s mind. She would either find herself repeating the words she had uttered to her during the party or craving for something she once had, they once had. It all felt wrong for some reason, it felt like betraying her own promise to not even think about her after all the memories they have shared. 

_“_ _You don’t get to make me remember how happy I was with you just to make me realize it was all a lie.”_ Crystal’s voice resonated in her mind as she took another picture, making Gigi remember all the polaroids they had of one another. _“To the point of my destruction, I loved you…”_ the black-haired woman remembered her saying so vividly. And it pained her even just to remember her defeated look.

Her body was so used to Crystal and her tender touches that when she started shivering, all she wanted to do was snuggle up to her petite body. She ached with the need, with the feeling of the rainy nights spent cuddling on her heart. Still, all she could do at that moment whilst Crystal’s words about not being enough rang in her mind was to walk away from the scene, taking her body to the caravan full of clothing sent by designers to distract herself.

She spent several minutes, mindlessly shuffling through the racks before the door opened aggressively, making her jump in her place, “I told you we needed this jacket out,” she heard the firm voice and took a deep breath in. Facing her after the fight was the thing she dreaded the most, but sooner or later she would have to.

“And I told you it was perfectly okay where it was,” Gigi answered. “Did you stop the whole shoot for this?” she asked, turning to the woman with the jacket that was so precious, but also so hideous, in her hand. 

“I’m not having this ruin my first shoot,” Crystal stated firmly, taking a step in to hand it to Gigi who refused it. 

“This isn’t even your job!” she fought back. “Stay away from my business, just do what you’re here to do! You’re trying to take out a key piece we need to have, Jaida stated it personally.”

Crystal knew she was taking it too far and was actually in Gigi’s territory, but she didn’t want to give up. She wanted to win something, anything against her. So, the jacket was her way of going, “Old habits die hard, didn’t you tell me?”

“Crystal-”

“Stop trying to talk over me!” she yelled before trying to get herself to calm down. All the emotions from the party were pouring, both of their bloods starting to boil soon enough.

“Then stop trying to do my job!” the black-haired woman answered, taking the jacket from the furious woman’s hand to make sure there would be no harm to it. “Do you even know how precious this is?” She looked back at the photographer, noticing how close they were. It made her gulp, a lump making its existence obvious in her throat made her look away immediately and focused her gaze on the jacket instead. 

“I wouldn’t try to do your job if you did it right,” Crystal answered, her half up hair feeling too tight with the headache she was starting to get. She took another step in the cramped space to look intimidating, “Now better do it right or-” 

Then, it all happened in the blink of an eye. Gigi, who was actually mesmerized by this side of the woman she spent months with, bowed down before her desires. She grabbed the slender face, clashing their lips together before letting Crystal finish. To her surprise, her kiss was replied with just as ravenous lips, their bodies aching for one another after months spent apart. It was everything Gigi had asked for, had yearn for these past months and the satisfaction of finally getting it consumed her. Then, an unexpected slap found its place on her cheek, bringing both of them to the real world as they pulled away, looking at each other with heaved breaths and fiery eyes.

“I’m sorry. You have Alisha.” Crystal uttered under her breath as she tried to step away.

“She does it all the time,” Gigi whispered barely. “When I was away… We agreed to be inclusive.” Crystal was more confused than ever, expecting that the black-haired woman she knew would very much prefer an exclusive relationship. A part of her felt like this was a new Gigi, someone different from the person she met a year ago. However, a larger part of her continued to believe that this was the same person she fell in love with, the same woman she spent the happiest months of her life with. It was still the same Gigi she spent months trying to move on from and yet, she knew she couldn’t. She craved for her just as much as the black-haired woman did. And just like her ex-partner, she let her desires take the wheel, clashing their lips together once again.

The kiss was rushed, different than any other one they’ve shared before. Their cold hands were all over each other’s body, impatient to explore the other again. Crystal pushed Gigi to the wall behind her with all the power she had in her petite body, the black-haired woman’s slender fingers clasping on her messy red waves as she tried to make the most of it. It was just like how she enjoyed and made the most out of their previous kisses, but this time, it felt different. 

It still felt wrong. It felt like nothing they had before. Even though her whole body was reacting to the black-haired woman and being with her after months that felt endless, her mind was still going at full speed. Crystal couldn’t remember a time she felt more confused, pushing her small body away when Gigi started trailing down to her neck, her teeth finding the warmth she just trailed with her tongue. 

“No. Not like this. This is all wrong,” Crystal mumbled under her breath as she continued backing away, her eyes shifting on the floor back to Gigi and everything in front of her as panic started creeping into her heart. She had been telling herself over the past months that whenever she gives up to her desires, it would all go back to zero. And getting over Gigi would be the most difficult process she would go through again. She didn’t want that anymore, she can’t have all the pain anymore. It would destroy her and she knew that. 

“Crys-”

“No Gigi, this is wrong!” The stylist lifted her hand to reach where Crystal was, to grab her in her arms and hugged her just like what she did before to comfort her. But the red-haired woman rejected her advances as tears started forming in the corner of her eyes, the tears she had been fighting back whenever she was near to the woman she once loved.

“I missed you,” What Gigi blurted out next was a surprise to Crystal. If she would have said that months ago, she would take her back in an instant, when she was all weak and in her most fragile state. And she thought she was going back there again once she heard the words. However, Crystal knew better. Even with her thoughts confusing her right at that moment, there was one thing she continuously repeated to herself. That she didn’t need Gigi any longer. And she wanted to believe that. 

At the same time, she was furious. She was starting to get angry once more, at how Gigi was reacting to all of this as if she didn’t care about anyone’s feelings at all, not hers and certainly not her  fiancée’s.  The red-haired woman shot the taller a look, glaring at her. “No, you don’t get to miss me. You were the one who left.” 

Gigi flinched on her spot and Crystal noticed that. There was a weird part of her that was happy she finally had that effect on her but it was easily replaced by guilt. It was the guilt of inflicting pain to the woman she promised she would never hurt. Nonetheless, the red-haired woman felt accomplished. She took a final look at Gigi before grabbing the jacket she came with and another random jacket that caught her eye. And with that, she left the room. 

“Break’s over! Let’s go back to work.” The black-haired woman heard from where she was. Immediately after hearing the photographer’s voice, she plopped her head down and covered it with her palms, the tears she was holding back started rushing on her face as she couldn’t hold the pain any longer. Her knees were weak and she slowly came down and sat on the floor like a child weeping through her nightmares. The pain devoured her, the pain of seeing the same hurt eyes she wished she never had the chance to harm. 

Crystal was someone Gigi cherished even though she just now realized it. She was more than just a getaway, a vacation from all the stress life had brought upon her. She was her home and she hated to admit it. Before, she made the woman promise not to fall in love as she made the same promise to herself. A promise she never got to keep. 

The guilt started to consume her as she took a glimpse of the ring in her finger, Alisha’s image coming up in her mind. It was the woman she loved and promised to love forever when she accepted her proposal, the woman she convinced herself that she’s in love with every waking morning. She had been there for her all these years after all. 

“Gee?” Her train of thought was cut short when she heard a familiar voice calling for her name, making her swiftly wipe the tears off her cheeks. She fixed her hair and was about to stand up when the woman calling her name found her sitting in front of the wall. “Hey, babe why are you there?” 

She looked up and saw the platinum blonde hair woman she hadn’t seen for a long time after she left her former job. The woman crouched down before her, holding into her arms. Gigi was aware of what a mess she might have looked like, wiping her face once more as she put on a big, fake smile on her face. “I’m okay.” 

Being a friend, Nicky knew that it was all just a facade. “Hey Gee, cut the act. I’m here to listen. What’s wrong? I just saw the photographer come out of this room. Did you two fight?” 

“It’s her. 

“Yeah, Crystal. She’s our photographer,” Nicky stated the obvious, a puzzled look in her eyes.

“No, it’s  _ her _ .” Gigi said, unable to open up more as she subtly showed the ring on her finger. It confused Nicky, making her furrow her eyebrows.

“I thought Ali- Oh… Oh!” It finally dawned on her. Nicky realized who Gigi was talking about, turning to the door in a confused second like the photographer was still there. “That’s why her name is familiar… Wait, what is she doing here?”

“I didn’t know Jaida was pursuing her to hire her. I wouldn’t have accepted this job if I knew she would be here,” she chuckled lightly to the way fate played for the two. 

“Jaida… where is that fine wom-” the French woman trailed off for a second, making her friend excited like a high school girl talking about crushes, “Oh yeah, back to you.”

“Nicky? Are you and Jaida..?” 

“No, no… Not yet, I mean. She hasn’t accepted my date yet cause I haven’t asked her out. Do you think you could help me?”

“Nicky!” the black-haired woman exclaimed, Jaida was her boss after all, but the light joking with Nicky helped her pull herself together as they shared little giggles.

“Oh, right, sorry sorry. So yeah, Crystal… your “roommate” and “friend”.” Gigi rolled her eyes as Nicky gestured the quotation marks with her fingers, “So that was the girl you were talking about a year ago… Isn’t it awkward given the situation?”

“It is! And she’s so frustrating. She came over to fight with me about the jackets and then she’s trying to take over my job,” she said, well knowing it was never about the jacket and she could just take her time and shoot with and without it. “And then…”

“...Oh. That’s horrible then, Gigi,” the platinum blonde woman spoke without a care in the world, but hearing the truth was what her friend needed, “Stop hurting the kid.”

“I’m trying not to.”  _ And clearly failing, _ she completed the sentence in her head. She didn’t know what possessed them both minutes ago in that crowded caravan, but it felt like she couldn’t handle it worse.

“Does she know?”

“Know what?”

“You and…” The light blue eyes landed on the ring, which Gigi was still holding out as her eyes stuck on it momentarily in between conversation. 

“Not all of it...”

“She deserves to know… She’s clearly devastated and in pain. She deserves the truth.”

“I don’t want to lose her,” she said, letting loose with her old friend. As much as leaving Crystal was hard for her, it was just as hard for Gigi. She could remember how hesitant she still was as she walked away from the life she built for months, unsure if she could do it again.

“You’re getting married!” Nicky lightly hit her head, making the black-haired woman giggle while her eyes were filled with tears. She wiped her tears again, pushing the doubts in her head away for a more appropriate time as they decided to go back to work. 

Gigi felt like an indecisive child, hating herself for all the misery she put the people around her through. Deep down, she knew this decision shouldn’t be as hard as it was for her, but she couldn’t bring herself to accept it. She expected to be sure when she reunited with her long time partner, but even after all this time, she still had questions to be answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhm hi yeah,   
> watch us bring back some elements from BGD (like nicky and pumpkin) just cuz B and I love it so much HAHAHHAHAHA
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoyed this one. and for b, thank you so much for bearing with me. ily and ily all for reading this <3 -y


	6. "I'm right here..."

_ “I love your house,” the taller woman said from where she was laying, red locks spread all over her bare chest as her hand caressed the tan shoulder of the woman she was hugging. Crystal looked up to her with smiling eyes, making her turn her looks too, “It’s just… Pure chaos, but it all somehow fits one another.” _

_ Crystal let out a little giggle, “Chaos… That’s what my mom used to call me sometimes.” The black-haired woman joined her giggles, watching her go back to drawing invisible shapes on her chest with the tip of her fingers, “Ever since I was a kid, I needed to create. Whether it was ruining mom’s jewelry to make my own or doing the most scrambled paintings…” _

_ “What changed?” Gigi asked, one of her eyebrows raised. Crystal’s job was the furthest thing from creating despite being around creators all the times, and it sounded like torture for her the more she talked. _

_ “Art doesn’t make money, Crystal!” the red-haired woman said, imitating an older lady’s voice. She was giggling, already content with the life she had time to adapt for years, but a thoughtful look was on Gigi’s face. They stayed looking into each other’s eyes before Crystal spoke again, “Do you mind if I take some pictures? You can keep the polaroids, I just- I want to take-” _

_ “Crys, you’re asking a model,” Gigi cut her short to not let her worry further. “Of course I want my pictures taken!” _

_ The red-haired woman got up quickly, a big smile on her lips with excitement to take some pictures again. She found her old camera and drew the curtain slightly to let some of the street lights pour inside through the wet windows. Gigi watched with curious eyes as she turned the lights off and found the edge of the bed to sit on, waiting for her to pose. So she did, and let Crystal adjust her to the light before snapping a picture and putting it down to let it develop. _

_ “You seem like you know what you’re doing,” Gigi said as they waited. A little smile formed on Crystal’s face, not looking up to the other woman as she spoke. _

_ “Just a hobby,” she said as she deliberately messed with the focus settings. “This is actually my dad’s camera, miraculously still working.” Then she adjusted Gigi again and snapped one more picture.  _

_ The black-haired woman watched the red-haired one again as she set the second one aside, “Every sheet is actually so…” _

_ “Precious?” Crystal asked, thinking of the same thing. Gigi nodded. “Yeah, I think so too.” The pair took another one before Crystal set the camera down, Gigi crawling towards her on bed to see the developing pictures over her shoulder. _

_ “You’re really good at this!” she exclaimed, looking down with the biggest smile. The red-haired woman looked at the same place, flushed with shyness, “May I?” Gigi asked, her fingers lingering over the picture. _

_ “Sure, just don’t touch it directly yet.” _

_ The slender fingers grasped one corner to bring it closer to herself, “You’re never getting this back!” she said, making Crystal turn to her side to see her. Gigi put the picture down before planting a kiss on the tan shoulder, tickling Crystal and making her giggle. “Oh my god, are you ticklish?” _

_ “No!” Crystal exclaimed with her high tone, getting away from the other woman slowly.  _

_ “So you don’t mind if I do-” The red-haired woman started letting out little laughters before the slender fingers could even touch her, making Gigi laugh along as she tried to get away. She was on top of Crystal before they could even realize it, both in laughter inside the dim room. Gigi stopped for a second, looking deep into the smiling eyes before her as Crystal’s chest rose up and down quickly whilst she tried to catch her breath. _

_ The domestic life Gigi found herself into all of a sudden was something she always despised, even the thought of it. But now that she was in the middle of the peaceful life, it didn’t feel as bad. She thought of the possibility of the sudden change being the red-haired woman under her, but she worriedly pushed it away before leaning down to pull the pink lips in a deep kiss.  _

_ “I like having you around,” Crystal whispered when they pulled away for a second, afraid to say more. _

_ “I like being around you,” Gigi answered, leaving another peck. They took a painfully long moment before Crystal decided to mess with her and switched positions quickly, pinning both her hands she used to giggle her down on bed as they went back to laughing. _

  
  


\-----------------

  
  


Ever since the scene from the storage room happened, Crystal had been doing her best to avoid Gigi at all cost. Whenever she would see her walking towards the pantry, or to Jaida’s office, or to the storage room in their studio office, she would go out of her way just to not be with her. She couldn’t face her, she didn’t know what to say to her whenever they would meet. Even the thought of being in the same space with Gigi bothered her, the events from the last photoshoot kept flashing through her mind. If all of the things she found out in the recent month weren’t true, she would have been ecstatic, finally reuniting with the person she once loved. However, she was feeling the opposite. She even hated herself for responding to her surprise kiss, sure that it was all wrong especially now that she knew Gigi had someone else. She hated her for that, for making her want something she knew she couldn’t have. She hated Gigi for kissing her, for doing the wrong thing. It felt like cheating, and even if she didn’t know Alisha that well, it was all a betrayal for her. 

What got Crystal the angriest she had been all week was because of a photograph she found when she opened her laptop. She was surrounded by her coworkers when the picture slid down to her desk, getting a glimpse of it before cramping it under a portfolio she had laying around. The red-haired woman was thrown off whilst showing the edits she made to her latest pictures, stumbling her words with the irritating piece of paper in her mind. It angered her how she was bothered by the photo, how she got distracted during a stressful presentation she had with her coworkers.

After she was done with work and made sure no one was around, she pulled the picture back before her. It was a photo of hers this time, taken behind her whilst cooking, with her waves messy and Pumpkin on the side of the frame climbing the countertop. For a second, a cozy, comforting feeling filled her gut, remembering how the taller woman would sneak up on her and wrap her arms around her waist whilst preparing food; how she would trace her belly with her cold, slender fingers to tease her, how her chin would perfectly sit on her shoulder as she watched over. There was a flush of warmth wrapping around her chest as she remembered how love felt like, how she considered the black-haired woman’s arms her home. 

Then came the anger, the feeling she was most familiar with lately. She couldn’t believe the tall woman had kept pictures of her after leaving her. She even couldn’t remember processing that picture, or helping Gigi with it; meaning she could have done it herself specifically. The way she went out of her way to get it and keep it all these months while asking for her to forget her, the hypocrisy in Gigi’s actions got Crystal mad. Pissed, she turned the picture around to not look at it any longer, only to find a note with the familiar handwriting.

_ “Can we talk?” _ she read, dryly chuckling at Gigi’s bravery. After being turned down many times, she was still trying but Crystal wanted nothing to do with her. She just shoved the pic in her bag, trying to forget about it as she left the office since her mind was too full to work.

It was a busy afternoon and Crystal found herself tiredly walking to the pantry to make herself a cup of coffee in an attempt to wake her up as she had many things she needed to be done before she went home. She knew most of the employees had gone home already and she was confident she was at least alone in the room. 

“Would you like some coffee?” A sweet voice came from the other end of the small room, a tall woman standing as she poured coffee on an empty mug. Crystal was too tired to check who it was, or to take her earphone out to hear her clearly, and so she just agreed and thanked her for the small gesture. She lazily sat on the table in the middle of the small room, plopping her head down on the table as she rested her eyes, exhausted from looking at the screen the whole day.

“It’s such a tiring day today, isn’t it?” The voice spoke again. Crystal nodded as she couldn’t agree more, chuckling tiredly without even looking up. Her coworker gently placed a cup of coffee near her, placing a coaster below to keep the table from having water rings. “Your coffee’s ready, I hope I did as creamy as you used to like.”

The photographer was suddenly confused by what her coworker said, knowing that no one knew how she liked her coffee anyway. She immediately looked up, taking off her one earphone and seeing the black-haired woman’s kind smile in front of her. “What do you think you’re doing, Gigi?”

“I poured warm milk in your coffee. That’s how you liked it, right?” Gigi remained calm even with the sudden anger she was sensing from Crystal, acting clueless. 

“Why would you even care how I like my coffee?” Crystal pushed the chair back, attempting to stand up and leave the room when the black-haired woman immediately caught up with her, gripping onto her wrist gently. 

“Crys…” she pleaded, her brown eyes big.

“I don’t need your coffee. Are you just giving it to me because your first choice isn’t around?” she asked and every single one of her words stung the black-haired woman.

“I was just trying to be kind, Crys.”

“I don’t need your kindness, Gigi. I don’t need your charity. Why do you even bother?”

“Please… I’m sorry.” Her voice changed, cracking a little bit as she apologized to her. The more she tried to make it right, the more her ex-partner got angry. She felt helpless, never knowing what to do next.

“Sorry… for what? For lying to me? For leaving me? For making me your second option? For kissing me? What?! What are you even sorry for this time, huh?” 

Gigi was left silent, speechless as her gaze shifted to Crystal who was looking down at her with fire in her eyes, her chest moving up and down quickly in frustration. Her eyes linked with her soft lips, her mind being taken back to the first kiss they had after months, remembering how sweet and yet intense it all felt for her. It was the same as the photographer’s eyes glaring at her. All Crystal asked was to be left alone, and the black-haired woman wouldn’t give it to her no matter how hard she pushed her away. 

She wanted to make the same old mistake, to kiss her again like it would fix anything. It was the only solution she had in mind and she felt stupid about it. But this time, they got interrupted. She saw someone walk in on her peripheral view, Crystal glancing at them before stomping back to her desk. Gigi’s brown eyes followed her back to her place, watching her try to relax herself while rubbing her neck. If it were like before, she would have walked to where the red-haired woman was, calming her down with a sweet hum while massaging the back of her neck, she thought to herself.

“What’s wrong?” Her fianceé’s voice brought her back to reality. She glanced at the blonde before rubbing the bridge of her nose, realizing she was too caught up on work to notify her that she would be finishing late.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” she said as Alisha’s eyes found where she was looking. She slightly panicked, the feeling of guilt rushing through her as she looked at Crystal once again, wanting to keep everything that happened lately a secret. 

“Were you fighting?” the blonde asked, realizing how both women looked furious and flushed over the whole situation. Gigi nodded defeatedly, dropping her head low before her fianceé spoke again. “Hot.”

“What?” she asked, puzzled over the little comment.

“Two hot women fighting, that’s hot,” Alisha said nonchalantly, making Gigi look at her with judging eyes. “I’m just saying! Yeah yeah, your coworkers, off limits, I know,” she kept talking. It bothered Gigi to think of that, or anything even remotely close to that, so she changed the subject.

“Coffee?” Gigi offered her the one she prepared for Crystal before realizing what she was doing.

“Nope, thank you baby,” the blonde said, her hands wrapping around the black-haired woman’s slim figure. She leaned to give a small kiss, which Gigi accepted with slight hesitation. She didn’t want to be affectionate around Crystal, despite thinking she was doing nothing wrong. “Can we leave already? I missed… you,” Alisha said, her voice lowering and her eyes trailing to her fianceé’s body. 

“I still have so much to do,” Gigi whined, making Alisha scrunch up as she pulled away. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you I would be late.”

Her voice got softer and softer when she realized her fianceé was taking her phone out, her attention diverting in the middle of conversation. “Hm?” she asked, seemingly uninterested whilst checking her phone. “I’ll be out then, don’t wait up,” she leaned in and left another peck whilst Gigi was left stunned. She knew what being out meant, and she couldn’t help but feel jealousy deep down. She wanted to blame herself for working late but the deadlines were coming and she couldn’t just leave them all for her girlfriend. Her ears were turning red as she watched Alisha walk away, frustrated at how she could just leave her for something else.

She was once again left alone as Alisha went back to the elevator, texting someone on the way, “I’m right here,” she mumbled under her breath before turning her looks away to see Crystal watching across the room. She could see the mocking look on the photographer’s face, an eyebrow raised at the scene she had just witnessed. “What? Want to make fun of me? Go ahead,” she said, annoyed to be seen so vulnerable.

“No-”

“Here’s something  _ I  _ don’t need, for a change: Your opinion on my relationship!” she snapped, stopping the sweet words she had earlier. If Crystal wanted to fight, Gigi was more than ready to do so. She would have wanted to make peace with her but her anger clouded her thoughts, and seeing how the other woman seemed to not really care about making things okay with them continued to frustrate her. If she would want to continue like this, then so it be, she thought to herself. 

Shakily, her hand reached for the cup of coffee she made for Crystal and poured it down the sink, her eyes not leaving the photographer’s. She took a deep sigh before walking out of the pantry and to her desk, trying to focus on work as much as she can even though her mind would just go back to Crystal, and that angered her even further. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you are still here.” A surprised voice enveloped the hall, making the two look up to where it was coming from only to see Jackie standing by the elevator. “It’s already late, you should go home.” Her caring words made Gigi smile, familiar with how motherly her coworker and friend was. 

Her smile turned upside down when she noticed Crystal in her peripheral vision, smiling at Jackie as well. The pair met eyes, Gigi’s gaze turning into a glare before she shifted her look back into her screen as she answered Jackie. “I have so much to finish. Why are you still here?”

Jackie walked towards Gigi’s desk, stopping behind her and holding onto the backrest of her seat, leaning in to look at her laptop screen. “Well, Jaida just told me to drop by some files so she could look at it when she comes tomorrow early. Let me see what you’re doing.”

Gigi showed her tasks to Jackie who willingly helped her for a little bit. She was grateful to finally talk to someone nice after spending hours doing work alone or trying to talk to the one person who wouldn’t want to talk to her. 

The two were too busy on the task that they didn’t notice Crystal standing up, getting ready to leave. Jackie only noticed when she heard the elevator rang, signaling an upcoming lift from a different level. “Oh, you’re going home already?”

Crystal nodded, making an effort into making sure that she was only looking at Jackie and not to the person beside her. “Yeah, my cat needs to be fed anyway. Please say hi to Jan for me. I left her the materials on her desk for tomorrow.” 

“Alright, I’ll tell her. Take care, Crystal!” Jackie waved her goodbye and the red-haired woman did the same before she stepped into the elevator. As the elevator doors closed, Gigi found herself looking at the other woman, their eyes meeting just as the doors shut. She shook her head before turning back to her screen. 

“Crystal’s nice, right? I’m so happy she finally agreed to be here. Her talent is exquisite.” Jackie spoke, making Gigi shudder at the thought of actually agreeing to what her friend was saying. Crystal was indeed talented and a part of her was proud that she was finally fulfilling her dreams of becoming a photographer like how she always wanted to be.

However, a bigger part of her mocked her own self for thinking that way, for actually agreeing to what Jackie said. She didn’t want to appear too ecstatic about it nor wanted to show how mad she was feeling so she just shrugged and gave Jackie an “Eh.”

Gigi grabbed her mug and took a sip of coffee, choking a little bit at the words she heard from her coworker. “You two seem like you would make good friends. Are you getting close with her?” A slight panic took over her as the thoughts of Crystal and her being close, and the storage room incident the other week came to her mind. She shook her head and offered a kind smile to Jackie instead. “Aww, that’s sad. You seemed like you could have good chemistry together. I mean, so far, your personalities complement each other. You’ll make good friends.”

Gigi’s eyes lost focus for a second before turning to her kind friend helping her, “I don’t think she likes me that much, Jackie,” she said. The sentence felt wrong to say out loud, like she was lying even though it was the truth now.

“I’m sure that’s not right!” the brunette woman tried to reassure her, but she just diverted her attention back to the screen. 


	7. "Make me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up for slight mention of body image issues.

_“Here’s your table, Ma’am. Just call me by the counter whenever you are ready with your order.”_

_“I’m still waiting for someone.” Crystal politely responded before the waiter showed her a courteous bow then walked out of her table. She fixed her hair repeatedly as she looked around the small diner, nervously glancing at the door as she waited for someone. She even downed three glasses of water already as her leg bounced, excited yet tensed for her first date._

_She was sipping on her fourth glass of water when the bells on the door rang, signaling a new customer coming in. Her eyes immediately shot to where the noise came from, her eyes landing on a tall woman wearing a long, fitted red dress that reached almost to the floor, her dark hair pinned up into a messy bun that still looked glamorous. Crystal didn’t even realize she wasn’t breathing anymore until the lady walked towards her and tapped her on the shoulder, a bright smile painted on her face._

_“Hi. I’m sorry I’m a little bit late. I didn’t realize how heavy the traffic in this city is.” The red-haired woman had to blink a few times as she continued staring at the black-haired lady in front of her. She wanted to say hi or comment on whatever she said but nothing came out of her mouth. “Anyway, I feel silly. People gave me weird looks when I entered the door… Am I overdressed?”_

_Crystal chugged on her water whilst she shook her head, chuckling a little. “No no… You look incredible tonight, Gigi. I…” didn’t expect this, she finished the sentence in her mind as she took another glance of the woman in front of her. She leaned in, covering one side of her mouth and whispered softly, as if hiding a secret. “You want to go somewhere where they don’t care about the way we dress?”_

_The model leaned and did the same gesture, giggling at their ‘secret conversation’, “Where?”_

_“Come with me.” The red-haired woman stood up and offered her hand which Gigi gladly took, pulling them both out of the small diner and ran towards another side of the town._

_“I guess we have all we need now, right? Some heat-up, instant sandwiches from the convenience store, some chips and fruit juice boxes.” Crystal muttered as she held up the bag that held all the snacks they bought from the grocery store, Gigi giggling as she nodded._

_“I suppose this fancy dinner would be really enjoyable.”_

_“Of course, Madame. They were all fresh and handpicked by yours truly.” The red-haired woman gave a playful wink before she stopped in front of a huge tree in the middle of the park. “And here’s our table.” She let out a soft laughter before taking off her jacket, laying it down on the grass before leading Gigi to sit on it._

_“How about you?”_

_“I’m totally fine. I’m not the one who’s wearing a gown to a diner anyway.” The little joke made Gigi laugh once more as she watched Crystal open the snacks they got, sharing some food and stories all through the evening._

_The two didn’t even realize how long they had been sitting under the tree, too absorbed with enjoying each other’s company in their little picnic date. Crystal, from time to time, would be preoccupied into staring at the attractive woman in front of her, listening to all her stories about her modelling career and her travels and all the places she had been to. She seemed to be someone who just wouldn’t settle down in one place, constantly traveling and exploring new places, wherever her feet would take her. Gigi appeared to be this free-spirited woman that won’t let anyone stop her from doing whatever she wants and dream of. It was mesmerizing for Crystal to meet someone like her, intrigued at how she never lost energy into going around different places._

_Her energy was contagious as well, whenever she would smile, Crystal would smile too. She was a light that the red-haired woman never knew she needed in her life. She couldn’t help it, she was like a moth and Gigi was the flame. Instantly, she was attracted and there was no way turning back._

_A small drop surprised Crystal as it landed on her cheek, followed by more small drops of water falling on her shoulder and arms. The two both looked up and saw the rain approaching, immediately standing up. They stuffed all their food inside the small bag they got before the red-haired woman grabbed her jacket and put it on top of Gigi’s head. The taller woman stared at her before smiling, pulling the other woman closer to her so they both would be spared from the rain._

_“Hey, I’m totally fi-” Crystal wasn’t able to finish her sentence when she glanced at the taller model, noticing how close their faces were under the small jacket they had over their heads. Under the moonlight, she observed how Gigi’s cheeks turned slightly pink as they met eyes, the black-haired woman finally realizing how close they were with each other._

_“What?” Gigi tried to avoid Crystal’s gaze but soon enough, she glanced back._

_“Nothing, I didn’t know you had a little green in your eyes.” Their eyes met once more, staring intently with each other until the red-haired woman gained courage to lean up and reach for Gigi’s lips, leaving a quick peck. The taller woman froze in her spot and Crystal was quick to notice. She instantly pulled away and looked down, her face red from the embarrassment. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mea-”_

_Her words were cut mid-sentence when the model decided to return the sweet kiss, tilting her head down to meet with Crystal’s, capturing her lips into a soft kiss under the jacket. It made them both smile against each other’s lips, the red-haired woman eventually pressing her body against the other girl as she pressed her palm on her cheek, caressing it gently as they shared their first intimate moment. Gigi did the same, moving both her hands to hold Crystal, dropping the jacket in the process._

_When they realized they were both wet from the cold rain, the taller woman pulled away and giggled, pressing her forehead against Crystal’s as the other one left another kiss on her lips. “See, no one will judge because of what we wear. They’ll all know it’s because of the rain.” The red-haired woman uttered before intertwining her fingers with Gigi’s._

_The pair’s giggles resonated around the quiet park as they ran and kissed some more under the rain._

  
  
  


\-----------------

  
  
  


“Hey, can you zip me up?” Gigi asked as her fianceé entered the room, shooting her a sweet smile through the mirror. Alisha put her phone down, which Gigi realized she had been spending a lot of time with, before approaching her and pulling the zip up. The dress was a little tight, but it was nothing too restricting.

“You know, just because you quit modelling doesn’t mean you should stop caring about your body,” the blonde said, examining her fianceé whilst her face scrunched up.

“I’m sorry?” Gigi asked, shocked with the sudden comment. One of the things she got out of quitting was finally being out of the restrictions she had to follow, and up until that point she thought her body was handling it well. 

Alisha shrugged, “Just saying, baby. It’s for you, really,” she said before planting a little kiss on Gigi’s pointy shoulder. Then she walked out of the room, leaving her fianceé alone with her reflection. The black-haired woman ran her hand on the blue satin fabric, examining her body before letting out an exhausted sigh.

It was years past since the last time she thought of the blonde woman being with her for being a model, or looking the way she did, but the comment just wouldn’t sit right with her. Six years, and still she had doubts from time to time. Even if she fought the thought of the red-haired woman back, the way her love felt deeper than skin at any given moment came to her mind, leaving a warmth on her cold body.

“We should leave if you don’t want to be late!” A voice came from the living room, making Gigi get a last glance before grabbing her hand bag to leave.

Crystal entered the cramped club barely, fixing her red overalls as she made her way inside. Finally, after the longest while spent with hostility alongside all the work she had, the day to celebrate has come and she couldn’t be more excited for it. She passed many famous faces as she tried to locate her coworkers, in awe of what her life had become so quick.

“Jan!” her eyes caught the familiar blonde’s eyes, a big smile on both their faces as they shared a hug to greet one another. “Hey baby!”

“Look, Jackie! It’s the star of the night,” she pulled her girlfriend into the conversation and made the red-haired woman blush hard.

“Oh my god, Crystal! I just saw the final pictures, you’re even better than I thought,” the brunette exclaimed whilst pulling her into a hug. 

“It’s not me, it’s our team,” Crystal stated, her cheeks flushed at the compliments and comments she had received that night. 

Her eyes shifted around the club as she took in all of the events of the party, proud of how much she had achieved over the last few weeks she had been working with the company. A big smile spread across her face as she looked at all the photographs being exhibited around the walls of the club, admiring the art she made. It was all a dream come true for her, something that she had just been thinking about a year or two ago, something that someone dear to her encouraged her to pursue. Gigi, the one person who believed in her when she was doubting herself, the one person who cheered for her and told her that she could make it big. She was that one person she wished she could share this moment with but she couldn’t, not anymore. Not the way she would prefer it to be.

“Gigi!” Jan cheerfully called before walking towards the crowd, meeting with her friend. “You look radiant today.”

Crystal couldn’t help it but glance over to where Jan went, her breath stopping for a moment as she watched the view unfold before her eyes. She indeed was radiant, with her blue satin dress wrapped around her body, a silk scarf on her shoulders to keep her from the cold of the outside, enveloping her curves that the red-haired woman used to caress. Her fingers ached to touch her but she couldn't any longer. She watched as the waist she used to kiss each night was now held by another woman, Alisha. 

"Hey girls," Alisha chimed in as she greeted Gigi's coworkers before turning to Crystal. "Crystal, right? Congratulations on your first project. Gigi was looking at some of the old photographs you took, you've come a long way." The two shook hands, with the photographer's mind shaken at the thought of Gigi actually looking at her past works. She turned her eyes to her which the taller woman ignored by opening up conversation with Jan. 

The small group chatted for a little bit, Alisha just standing behind her fianceé as she was busy with her phone. She would occasionally laugh along with whatever thing that was funny even if she was barely listening. Crystal took it as an opportunity to examine her further: her edgy style, her soft hair color, her perfect physique… She felt insecure, way too small compared to the other woman. It felt bad to think of Gigi as someone who could be that shallow, but a part of her still thought she was nothing compared to Alisha in the looks department.

Crystal noticed all of it. How Gigi would glance at the blonde and pull her back into the conversation, how the tall stylist would look at her and try to look at the screen of her phone only to be left sighing at whatever it was that her girlfriend was doing; and Crystal sighed along with her. 

The red-haired woman left after a while, having her occasional cigarette alongside the alcohol on the balcony all by herself as Gigi stayed by her fianceé, chatting with Jaida who came by the bar for a drink. “Are you planning to spend your whole night here?” the brunette woman asked, and Gigi just chuckled.

“You should’ve seen me in my prime model years. I was out there, slightly drunk and trying to take gigs by using my _charming_ personality,” she giggled, remembering faking warmth to get in photoshoots and runways. A night like the one she was in usually bore lots of opportunities, but not for her anymore since she promised to keep this career in the city, right by her fianceé. Their quick chat was cut short with a platinum blonde woman joining them.

Gigi watched as Nicky ordered louder than usual, diverting the attention to herself before turning to the pair, acting surprised to see them there. “Oh I didn’t know you two were here! Hey!”

They shared greetings and quick celebrating words for one another before Jaida spoke again, “I thought you couldn’t make it.”

Nicky lightly touched her arm, Gigi’s eyes trailing her movement, “I couldn’t miss you out of the usual suits you wear now, could I?” she joked, letting out a charming laughter. Jaida looked down at her drink, smiling to herself as Nicky made gestures for the black-haired woman to leave, making her roll her eyes as she made up an excuse.

“I should go now, Ali’s been alone too long,” she said before watching Nicky pull Jaida in a more secluded corner. She chuckled to herself while going back to her fianceé, who wasn’t too far away anyway.

It was just the two of them again, Gigi getting more and more bored with every passing second. The black-haired woman was about to open up a conversation when a stranger's hand found her fianceé’s elbow, pulling her into a conversation.

“Look who it is,” the woman exclaimed almost inaudible for Gigi, but she was too focused to not hear. She realized the brunette woman’s hands all over Alisha, who finally put her phone down to talk with the stranger as a big smile occupied her face. “I missed you, little runaway,” she said, getting on Gigi’s nerves even more.

“Oh, Taylor,” Alisha said, surprised but pleased. “Work’s been killing me, didn’t have much time lately,” she whined, unbothered by the hands all over her. Gigi cleared her throat, reminding her she was still there. “Oh, and this is Gigi… My fianceé,” she added the last part when the woman before her looked confused.

Gigi put a little smile on her face and offered a hand to the woman, just to take it off her fianceé, “Nice to meet you.” The brunette shook the hand, uninterested, and turned back to Alisha. Gigi examined the woman, her curves and tan skin that glowed under the artificial lights, thoroughly and couldn’t help but feel insecure. It was unlike her, but with the words of her fianceé earlier that evening, she couldn’t exactly help it.

“Give me a call if you… need anything,” she threw in a little wink. Gigi rolled her eyes, like she didn’t know what _“anything”_ meant. “Or even to just rant! I don’t mind, baby.”

“I know, babe,” Alisha answered, rubbing the arm still holding on to her. “See you around.” Gigi watched as the pair bid their goodbyes and Alisha went straight back to her phone, her eyes locked on the blonde who realized a few moments later, “What?”

“Why are you always on your phone?” she asked, fed up with the attitude she was putting up with the whole day. Alisha turned the phone to her like it was her right to be annoyed, showing her the screen.

“Work, Gee. It’s just work,” she said before pulling the phone back before her. Gigi’s eyebrow stayed raised, “Oh my god, it’s Taylor, isn’t it?”

“What?” the black-haired woman asked confused.

“Are you jealous or something?” 

“No!” Gigi exclaimed, a little higher than she would prefer it to be. “I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous?”

The blonde didn’t seem to believe her lies, easily detecting them after years of being together, “You so are! Gosh, Geeg, it’s just someone I’ve had sex with while you were…” Here it was, the great talk about her always being away. Alisha avoided phrasing it, knowing she was walking into the fire zone. 

“She was just… Too flirty with you,” Gigi answered sheepishly. She couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever her traveling came up, although it was mostly work related it was all Alisha hated when her career took off.

“What are we supposed to do? Fuck like rabbits and not see one another ever again?” Alisha answered, getting angry despite Gigi’s calm answer. _Preferably,_ the black-haired woman thought but didn’t say a word. “You are unbelievable! She didn’t even say anything! You’re just… Starting a fight for no reason at all,” she went off as her girlfriend’s eyes filled up.

Gigi didn’t know how to fight back, so she did what she always did: run away from her problems. “I should- I’m going to get some air,” she said, leaving Alisha behind as she found the balcony through the cramped club, ignoring everyone she knew on the way out and hiding her glossy eyes by looking down. 

The black-haired woman almost threw herself out, letting the cold air breeze over her as her hands clutched onto her scarf. She took a deep breath in, trying to get rid of the heaviness in her chest as she once again felt like she was doing everything wrong for her relationship. Nothing she did felt right, or seemed to work, and she desperately needed to make it work.

She just wanted a normal life after all, the one Alisha wanted, the one she was trying her best to believe that she wanted. All these past months after coming back to her, she spent all of it trying to regain all the spark they once had, to make up for all the lost time because of the year they spent apart. Even though they became inclusive for some time, a part of her felt some sort of betrayal. Even though they both agreed they can go have fun with someone else for the few months, to explore and be as adventurous as they want to be without each other, a part of her felt the tiniest hint of guilt due to the fact that she fell for someone else even if she denied it. 

That was why she couldn’t help but feel jealous over the fact that someone was touching her fianceé as if she wasn’t there. It was the guilt eating her up inside knowing that she would have made Alisha jealous too if she found out she had fallen for someone else, even though their relationship only lasted for a few months. 

A familiar voice startled her, making her turn around with cautious movement. The voice was mocking, nothing like the sharp tone she usually faced lately, “Can’t I get a five minute break from you?”

“Are you drunk?” Gigi asked, a concerned look on her face as she faced the red-haired woman, ignoring the instinct of hugging her so tight until her pain seemed to vanish. Crystal shook her head side to side, a little too enthusiastic to prove she wasn’t intoxicated. The black-haired woman sighed before making her way to the wall she was leaning on to lean next to her, looking at the city view just like she was. “Why are you here? This is your night.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” she answered before inhaling from the cigarette Gigi just realized she had. The black-haired woman knew her effect on her ex-lover, and she hated to see someone she was so used to seeing happy so down, “Why are you here? Doesn’t your fianceé mind? Oh, sorry, she probably didn’t even realize while on her phone.”

Gigi acted like she didn’t hear the question, as it hurt more than the usual in that moment, “It would feel like it if all you cared about wasn’t doing my job.”

“Old habits die hard,” Crystal said once again. Gigi rolled her eyes, tired of the little snarky comment being brought up again even though she knew how much it must’ve hurt. “Who am I supposed to celebrate with? Pumpkin? Or the friends I pushed away because I was in the abyss of depression for months, over the affianced ex-”

“Small talk, Crystal… Let me just-”

“I don’t want to have small talk with you! You keep trying and trying-” Gigi turned to her with an unbelieving look in her eyes, like she wasn’t just as guilty in the discourse.

“Shut up for one second!” the black-haired woman found herself cutting. Crystal was taken back; never telling her to shut up was one of the things she loved most about the Gigi she used to know. “Just shut the hell up for one fucking second, and try to listen maybe, just for this once!”

“Why would I when you didn’t even listen to me?”

The black-haired woman was taken aback by the comment, shooting the drunk woman beside her a dirty look. “I don’t? Crystal, you’re the one constantly cutting me off, the one not listening,” 

“Make me,” Crystal said casually, done with her cigarette as she challenged, calm with the intent of being annoying. 

Gigi raised both eyebrows questioning, “Make you?” Crystal answered with a simple shrug, just to get on the nerves of the woman before her. 

“I don’t see the worth of listening to your lies again, so yeah, make-” To her surprise, she was cut off mid-sentence as the taller woman, obviously infuriated by the bickering she couldn’t stand any longer, leaned her face closer to her. Crystal couldn’t foresee the kiss coming in, once again aggressive and nothing quite like what they had before when they were together.

Gigi found the exposed waist, pulling their bodies close with lustful hands, excited to feel the petite body again. She pushed the shorter woman to the wall, enjoying every second of the passionate kiss. Crystal’s tipsy self thought of how wrong it was just like the last time, but it only fueled her more, just like how the jealousy running through her blood fueled Gigi. 

The black-haired woman thought about the words of being a second choice from the woman beneath her as they made out. It pained her, but she knew it was nothing compared to the pain the other woman must have felt. She wanted to take it all away and even though she knew the kiss wouldn’t do the trick, she couldn’t stop herself. One hand found Crystal’s thigh to raise it to get a better grip on her whilst her hands tugged on the scarf to pull her even closer like it’s possible, every passing second feeling more and more morally wrong. Her eyebrows furrowed together, her lips moving along Crystal’s slowing down even when her breathing was furiously stomping on her chest. So at last, she pulled away, her eyes trailing everywhere but the photographer’s big, brown eyes before finally meeting them.

“I should go,” she whispered, her forehead on the red-haired woman’s. Crystal looked up to her with lustful eyes, not wanting to let her go but once again, having to. Her hand still gripping onto the scarf slowly loosened, letting out a soft sigh, her eyes still gazing into Gigi’s as she looked for some sign even though she didn’t know what it was.

“You should go,” she whispered back and watched as Gigi hesitated to pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know where this is going...love you all! -y
> 
> y's a clown, don't listen to her, i would never clown,,,,, but yeah, see you all the next time


	8. Butterfly Tattoo

It was an hour after the party ended and Crystal was all alone in her humble home cuddling with her pet cat, still slightly intoxicated and dizzy as she did so. She stared at Pumpkin, caressing her fur as she thought of the event in the balcony with her ex. She knew she had a lot to drink and it all felt dreamy but at the same time way too real. Her hand crept up to her chin, the tip of her fingers grazing over the spots Gigi kissed her, her lips aching a little bit more to be kissed by only her. She knew that they couldn't, that Gigi was probably just doing that for no reason at all other than to torment her even further, as if seeing her everyday wasn't torture enough. It was all wrong and she was aware of that, aware of how easily she could go back to her at any moment of weakness. And she hated herself for that. 

She was too deep in her thoughts when she felt Pumpkin jump off of her lap and ran to the door. She was supposed to let her be but suddenly, she heard a loud bang on her door before it slowly turned into much softer ones. The red-haired woman wasn't expecting any visitors late that night so she couldn't think of anyone who might be at her door. 

As she walked to the door, she looked through her small window and saw a tall, black-haired woman dressed beautifully in a blue satin garment, her long hair flowing on her back with a few strands dropping on her smooth shoulder. Gigi knocked once more before Crystal decided to speak, "What are you doing here?"

The black-haired woman's head immediately looked up to the door at the sound of the homeowner's voice, expecting her to open the door and let her in. "I came here for you, Crys."

"Just go home. Alisha is probably waiting for you."

"She left me alone…" Gigi went silent as a few drops of tears flowed on her cheeks. Crystal thought the woman already left after a few moments of silence, so she opened the door to check but she was greeted by the tall woman looking down. She saw the teary red eyes looking at her, Gigi's face flushed at the amount of alcohol she downed before going to the photographer's house. 

"I said go home, Gigi. Do you want me to call Alisha?" Gigi shook her head quickly, hearing the name of the person she wanted to see the least in that moment made the hair in her arms stand up.

Gigi stepped into the house, closer to Crystal as she held on to her wrist, pleading with her eyes. "Please…"

"Please what?" Crystal stepped back, her wrist still on Gigi’s hand and paused as she took a step closer to her once more, looking intently into her eyes. She could feel the cold wall touching her back, knowing that she was now trapped. She cursed herself as her eyes slipped to the plump lips before her, giving Gigi the green light and showing how vulnerable she still was for her.

"I missed you. I really do." The black-haired woman uttered, slightly slurring, before leaning in to meet Crystal's lips, kissing her with the same passion as she did back in the balcony. She could feel the woman shifting beneath her, Crystal’s palms holding onto her shoulders to push her yet there was no force felt in her against her and so she grabbed her wrists and pinned them on the sides of her head as she continued to kiss her. "I missed you, all the time." Gigi mumbled in between the woman's lips. 

Crystal's eyes went shut as she tried to fight off the tears brought by Gigi's words. Those were the same words she wished she would hear from her whenever she would torment herself and let herself think of her months ago. Those were the same words that filled her heart whenever she thought of Gigi. 

"I just want to be with you." The taller woman whispered again as her lips trailed onto her jaw down to her neck, nibbling on her skin the way she did before, the way the Crystal loved the most. "When you came back, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

All this time, Crystal was silent. She took her time thinking whether this was all true or if it was just brought by the intoxication that the black-haired woman was under. However, she knew how Gigi would get drunk before and say nonsensical things. And whenever she would remind her about them when she was sober, she denied nothing. Gigi knew what she was saying because it all came from the heart; and Crystal believed it was the same as now. 

"I know I fucked up bu-" The red-haired woman didn't let Gigi finish her sentence as she pushed her off of her and pressed her body against her as she pinned her against the door, her hand cupping her face as she kissed her with as much passion as Gigi gave. She knew she fucked up as well but she couldn't care any less, letting her body react to whatever it wanted to do. 

The two made their way into the bedroom, with Crystal leading the pair, their hands not even a second away from each other's bodies. They were making out as they stood beside the bed, Gigi losing the scarf before the red-haired woman saw her tattoo for the first time. Crystal's hands slowly slid the strap of the blue satin dress Gigi was wearing. It was as if her skin was made of silk that the dress dropped smoothly off of her, revealing the figure that the photographer considered as one of the greatest arts she had ever seen. A pain struck through her heart to see the familiar butterfly lining on Gigi’s skin, remembering their time that felt too far away by then. She kissed her shoulders, her beautifully healed tattoo, and her neck as she let the black-haired woman unbutton her pajamas, but leaving her top on. She was pushed on the bed, the taller woman climbing on top of her before their lips met once more in an aggressive and hungry kiss. 

Crystal was sitting on the bed with Gigi on her lap as they continued sharing passionate kisses, letting themselves satisfy the cravings they thought they’d never be able to please. The photographer’s lips were all over the taller woman’s skin, leaving kisses all over her torso as the other threw her black waves back, arching her spine as she pressed her body towards Crystal. She willingly received her, one arm wrapped around her half-naked body while the other was exploring her thighs, making its way to her hips. On top, Gigi would circle her hips to add friction between them, causing moans released from each other’s lips. 

Little by little, the red-haired woman’s fingers were grazing against the taller woman’s bare folds, her eyes closing as she touched the softness of her skin, listening intently to the groans that escaped the woman’s throat. It painted a little smirk on her lips as she teased her below, pushing her middle finger inside her and letting it stay there without moving, allowing the woman on her lap to move her hips and ride her finger instead. The friction she was causing herself made Gigi throw her head back even more as her moans enveloped the bedroom, giving Crystal more access to her neck and her chest as she left butterfly kisses on her silky skin. If she would rank her favorite sounds, this would probably be in the top two of her favorites, the first being Gigi just talking to her about modeling and the things she was passionate about. This sound was something she truly missed. 

“Say my name,” Crystal mumbled against Gigi’s chest, making her moan even louder with her name mixed in between. She rewarded her by placing sloppy, wet kisses all over her chest, her hand still doing wonders at the same time.

The sounds became muffled as Crystal found herself in between the black-haired woman’s thighs, her lips making contact with the other set of lips between Gigi’s legs. She could still hear her moan through every action and gesture she was doing, the smirk on her lips growing bigger as she continued pleasing and teasing her folds. She would’ve succeeded easily if it wasn’t for the taller woman distracting her, as Gigi pressed her tongue against her clit, holding onto her milky thighs as she moved her head between Crystal’s legs while laying on her side, giving her as much pleasure as she was receiving. The two were taking turns teasing each other’s entrances with both their tongues and fingers, even finding themselves giggling as they shared a passionate and intense night. 

After all the teasing and pleasing, the pair buried themselves under a cozy blanket, Gigi’s arms wrapped around Crystal’s waist as she rested her head on her chest, her head moving up and down along as the red-haired woman tried to catch her breath after their steamy session. It took awhile for them to recover, Gigi looking up at Crystal with the biggest smile on her face that the photographer wished she could capture into a photograph and keep in her memory forever. 

Gigi had the most beautiful smile in her own opinion, especially when she looked at her like that whenever they would cuddle before. Her lips curved almost from ear to ear, her eyes sparkling with an unknown luster, and a slightly-tinted cheeks was her favourite view. She surely did miss seeing that every waking morning. She yearned for that look in her eyes, longed for the feeling of having Gigi in her arms while they rested in bed. Now that she had it back, even just for this once, it made her genuinely happy. And so, she pressed a soft peck on her forehead, watching as a bigger smile grew on Gigi’s face after she did that. 

The taller woman scooted a little bit closer to her ex-lover, a few strands of her hair dropping as it exposed the beautiful butterfly tattoo inked on her shoulders. Crystal’s fingers gently caressed on it; a happy memory flashing through her mind that gave her a small beam on her face. “You finally got one,” she softly whispered as she remembered their conversations about getting inked awhile back.

“Yeah,” 

“It looks good on your shoulder, just like how you wanted it before,” Crystal mumbled under her breath as she stared at her fingers tracing over the beautiful ink lines on Gigi’s skin. “I was supposed to bring you to a tattoo artist on our anniversary…”

“Oh.” They both were silent after what Crystal confessed. The taller woman looked up and saw the corner of her lips turning into a frown before she poked it, letting out a soft giggle. “I was slightly drunk when I got this tattoo. It was painful! So if you want one, think about it carefully.”

“Thanks for the warning. But I guess it isn’t as painful as this.” She showed the silver piercing she had on her nipple, Gigi’s eyes widening in surprise at the accessory she was seeing. 

“Wait, I didn’t notice that. You didn’t have it before, right?” The black-haired woman’s hand was cupping her chest, her thumb brushing against the nipple piercing making Crystal bite her lip at the contact. “Oh sorry but that’s hot. Is there anything else I didn’t notice?”

The red-haired woman shifted to her side and pointed on a spot just above her waist, showing a doodle of her cat Pumpkin. She watched as the smile on Gigi’s face grew even bigger whilst she ran her fingers on the inked drawing. “Is this Pumpkin? This is so adorable.” 

She sat up a little, leaning in to plant a sweet kiss on Crystal’s tattoo before trailing her lips to her piercing before it reached the red-haired woman’s plump lips. They kissed once more but this time with a little less intensity than the ones they had that night. After their good night kiss, they both lay down on the bed in the same position as earlier, Gigi resting her head on Crystal’s shoulder. She watched as the woman snuggled closer to her and closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep as the red-haired woman brushed her fingers along her long black hair. 

Sunshine was beaming up from the left side of the bed, from the small window on Crystal’s bedroom. It shone upon Gigi’s sleeping face, the natural light from the outside slowly waking her up. She snuggled comfortably with the person sleeping beside her, tucking herself closer in between the woman’s arms, which confused her. She shot her eyes open and saw a red-haired woman sleeping beside her, her peaceful face lightly sparkling against the sun’s rays. A warm feeling boiled up in her chest as she observed the sleeping figure upon her. It instantly reminded her of the months she spent waking up first and taking her time to stare at Crystal, wondering how she got there and making reasons to convince herself not to stay. 

It took her months to finally come up with at least one reason to leave the woman she once considered her home. It truly pained her, the stabbing pain on her chest she felt months ago slowly creeping back into her heart. It was the pain she had to endure silently as she went back to her long-time partner, making it seem like everything was okay even though all she could think of was the red-haired woman she left. 

It was not as if she didn’t know how Crystal felt. There was this one time when Crystal left her a drunken call, telling her how difficult forgetting her was. She tried her best to both be distant yet still kind, in an attempt to make her forget about her. She wanted her to forget about the months of happiness they have spent, as if Crystal forgetting about it would make it easier for her to do the same. 

But it didn’t, and fate knew that. Probably as to why they met again, months after the breakup, with their hearts not even completely healed. Gigi didn’t know the reason why, and even as hard as she tried, she couldn’t find the answer. 

The tall woman took a deep breath before carefully standing up, not wanting to wake the sleeping Crystal. She slid on the blue dress she wore the night before, fixed her hair before glancing at the peaceful figure lying down on the bed. She wanted to lay a kiss on her forehead just like before but knew better. If she did, she would probably wake her up and that’s the last thing she wanted to do, to make her watch her leave once again. She didn’t want to see the hopeless eyes pleading for her to stay again. It was a painful memory for the both of them and she didn’t want to go through with it once more.

“Thank you,” she whispered softly before exiting the apartment. 

She didn’t regret a second of it; maybe it was because most of the night was a hazy memory or because she convinced herself she didn’t have feelings for Crystal after all this time. It was just a feeling of longing and craving for her own desires in her mind, something she knew she could make her fianceé give to her.

Instead of immediately going home, Gigi passed by a small cafe nearby, her mind still constantly replaying the blurry events of the night prior. She was deep in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the person in front of her waving to her until she felt someone touch her arm. 

“Hey, Gigi.” The firm yet friendly voice brought her back to her consciousness, seeing the company boss smiling at her. Her eyebrows were scrunched down in a worried look, caressing her arm gently. “Is everything alright?”

“Jaida? Hi!” she said rather enthusiastically, not minding still wearing what she wore last night. “What are you doing here?” 

“Getting some breakfast,” Jaida stated the obvious, looking at the black-haired woman before her with curious eyes. “You?”

Gigi’s eyes were now staring at the menu board, looking intently into it yet still unfocused. “I’m grabbing a bite before I head back home. How about you?” 

“You just asked me that.” Jaida exhaled a soft chuckle as she patted the taller woman on her shoulder. 

“Oh… My bad.”

The boss looked at her again, the same worried look on her face when she noticed Gigi seemingly in a hazy state, as if she wasn’t fully there. “Are you sure everything is alright?” Gigi nodded, too absent-minded to be having a conversation at the moment. Jaida realized how off she was, and decided to take advantage of it, “Anyway, I wanted to ask you something. You worked with Doll Management before, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“How is it working with… Miss Doll? Is she nice? Are you friends with her?” Before coming to her company, Gigi had been a model under the Doll Management and was known to be one of the owner’s friends. That was how she first met Jaida, through one of the gigs she was offered with in the many parties she attended when she was still a model. The brunette woman knew they were friends, but didn’t give it away just yet. 

“Yeah, she is quite kind, and friendly. We’re actually still pretty good friends, I’m glad. She’s pretty amazing,” Jaida was impressed until Gigi started talking again, not looking at her directly in the eye as she trailed off in her thoughts. “However, if you want to have a successful project with her, keep it all professional. She can be flirty and sultry at times, especially with her gorgeous French accent, she can deceive anyone. She can be a little bit of a player and a womanizer, if you may.”

Jaida was quiet, glancing behind the black-haired woman, with a playful smirk on her face. 

“Womanizer what? You dumb bitch.” Gigi was surprised when she was lightly hit on her arm with a purse, glancing at the direction where she heard her friend’s voice. She saw Nicky glaring at her, her pale blue eyes filled with fire. 

“Wait, what are you doing here?” she asked, surprised and not able to put the pieces together just yet.

Jaida looked away, a small smile she tried hiding was on her face. Nicky watched as Gigi glanced at the two back to back, a surprised look on her face slowly growing. It finally dawned on her, a hint of pink embarrassment appearing on her cheeks. “Wait… Oh my gosh. I’m sorry for disturbing… whatever this is. I’ll just… get my food and head out,” she reached for the bag prepared for her before exclaiming, “I saw nothing!”

The black-haired woman left the cafe, peeking at the window and seeing the two continuing with their breakfast date. They still seemed to be laughing it off, so she didn’t feel too guilty. She took out her phone and typed in whilst walking, sending Nicky a short text.

Gigi: You sly bitch.

She caught a glimpse of the two one last time before walking to her destination. The events of last night, even though they were pretty clouded, flashed on her mind. She was once again reminded of the time she was talking to her boss by the bar, her platinum blonde friend coming up and shoo-ing her away. The thought made her roll her eyes but at the same time proud of her friend looking happy with Jaida’s company.

It took a while before Gigi got a reply from Nicky which she totally understood given the situation.

Nicky:  _ Yes, that’s me.  _

Nicky:  _ What are you doing early out in the morning? You rarely get breakfast outside… And with the same clothing last night… Where’s Ali? Are you not with her? _

_ Gigi typing... _

Nicky:  _ Wait… Did you not go home?  _

Nicky:  _ WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? _

Nicky:  _ GENEVIEVE GOODE. ANSWER ME _

Gigi rolled her eyes at her friend’s text messages, her lips unknowingly turning into a smile. She was about to send her a long message explaining what happened the previous night when her phone started buzzing, an incoming call from her curious friend. She pressed her phone near her ear with a smirk on her face. “Guess.”

“You and Alisha didn’t even say goodbye to me last night. I didn’t notice you two leaving,” Nicky responded from the other end of the line. 

“Maybe because you were too busy with Jaida.” The black-haired woman snapped back, making the two of them burst into giggles. 

“You didn’t answer my question… Did you even go home?” The French woman bombarded her with questions, getting more intrigued every second as Gigi remained silent on the other end. “Please… no… No-”

“What?”

“Where’s Alisha?”

“I actually don’t know. I haven’t seen her since last night.”

“Then where were you?” It became silent on the other line, Gigi biting her lower lip as she looked for words to explain where she was the evening prior. When Nicky didn’t get any response, she spoke instead. 

“I hate you, Gigi. I’m allowed to be a womanizer, not you.” 


	9. "Say my name"

_ A beautiful and elegant-looking blue envelope was lying on the floor when Gigi arrived at the house she was staying in for the meantime. She bent down to pick the letter and walked around the house to search for Crystal. She passed by Pumpkin who went crawling to her feet, making her smile before picking the fluffy pet and bringing her with her as she looked for the red-haired woman. _

_ Arriving at the kitchen doorway, she saw Crystal in front of the stove, cooking dinner for them. She leaned on the door frame and watched as the woman focused on the food she was making. “Love, someone left this by the door.” _

_ “What’s that?” The red-haired woman glanced for a moment before going back to cooking. “Oh, it’s for Rosé and Denali’s wedding. They texted me about that too a few weeks ago.” _

_ “Are you going? You know what this means? Dress shopping!” Looking into Gigi’s eyes, Crystal could see the excitement as she mentioned one thing that she enjoyed doing a lot, to be surrounded by gorgeous clothes that looked extremely great on her, the red-haired woman thought.  _

_ A smile on her face appeared as she observed the taller woman before shaking her head. “Do I really need new clothes? Is it that big of a deal? And why do weddings have to be a big deal anyway?” _

_ “Why not? Isn’t it a celebration of love?”  _

_ Crystal looked at Gigi who was just getting up on the counter and sitting on it, their pet cat on her lap snuggling on her. “But why the need to waste a lot of money if you just want to tell the person you love them?”  _

_ Gigi stared at her for a moment, somehow in disbelief that Crystal was even questioning about weddings. “Umm…” She scrambled through her mind and Alisha’s words came to her, the one the blonde said to her when they were having the same argument a few while back. “It is to celebrate your love with your loved ones. They can come visit the couple and celebrate with them, to show how much the other person means to you…” She trailed off, remembering the look on the blonde’s eyes as she listened to her, trying to convince herself that one day they would also get married, just like what Alisha wanted. _

_ The red-haired woman noticed how silent Gigi had become, walking closer to her. “Do you think you’ll ever get married?”  _

_ “Why not?” She snapped out of her thoughts, surprising the both of them with her answer. _

_ “You and marriage? Out of all people? Wow.” Crystal was left dumbfounded when she looked at Gigi for answers. This one free-spirited woman who made her promise not to fall in love with her and who seemingly was afraid of commitments was talking about something permanent like settling with someone for the rest of her life was a surprising thought for the red-haired woman. She didn’t know why but her chest clenched a little bit due to the fact that knowing there was an end to them meant that they can’t spend the rest of their lives together, even with how much she tried to persuade her to stay.  _

_ “Maybe one day, I might,” the tall model in front of her whispered, staring once again into the void while petting Pumpkin. _

_ “Yeah, sure. I need to be invited to this historical event.” Crystal joked, poking the tip of Gigi’s button nose. _

_ The taller woman stared at her for a bit, a joke popping into her head. ‘Why won’t the bride be invited?’ she thought to herself before shaking her head as Alisha’s face came to mind once more, as if her subconscious was reminding her that she had a lover back home and that she still needed to decide about her former proposal. A sigh escaped her chest just at the same moment when Crystal positioned herself in between her thighs, standing in front of her as she continued sitting by the countertop. _

_ “I guess you really do love some permanent things after all. Even if you deny it, you also like being committed and settled.” The red-haired woman slyly wrapped her arms around her waist, bringing her closer to her. Like a reflex, Gigi put her arms around Crystal’s shoulders and pulled her closer to her as well. _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “Permanent things… well, like a tattoo! You told me the other day you want to get a tattoo. Isn’t it like getting married? It’s permanent and you bring it with you anywhere.” _

_ “That sounds too cheesy, baby.” To distract herself from the noisy thoughts about Alisha bothering her head, she leaned in to give Crystal a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away. “What should I get?” _

_ The pair looked around the kitchen, trying to get ideas of a tattoo. Crystal was suggesting a few phrases and pictures that Gigi could ink on her skin. There was also a moment when they considered getting a couple tattoos of Pumpkin but they laughed off the idea.  _

_ Gigi’s eyes spotted Crystal’s favourite butterfly mug by the kitchen sink, an idea popping into her head. “Maybe I should get a butterfly one. Isn’t it pretty?”  _

_ “Oh, like the bracelet I gave you last week?” Crystal snaked her hand and reached for Gigi’s wrist, smiling at the sight of the simple silver bracelet on her arm.  _

_ “And also like that mug I bought for you before.”  _

_ The smile on her face got bigger, which made the taller woman smile back at her as well, her cheeks showing a faint hint of pink on them. “Where would you have it?” asked the red-haired woman as she leaned her face closer to her once more, the tips of their nose touching.  _

_ “On my shoulder.” _

_ “Really? Here?” Crystal bowed her head down to reach for Gigi’s shoulder, planting a soft kiss on it before she trailed kisses on her neck up to the corner of her lips. The flirty gesture made the model laugh as she cupped the other woman’s face impatiently, bringing it for her to kiss. They made out a little bit, their genuine laughter echoing in the kitchen as they shared happy memories they wished they could cherish forever.  _

  
  
  


\-----------------

  
  
  


“Honey, the wedding planner just-” Alisha entered the bedroom to find her fianceé kneeled before the dressing room, a box before her she was going through, and the rest of the clothes all messed up. “Did a storm pass through our bedroom?”

“Oh, hey! No, I just-” Gigi stopped at her tracks, disappointed with the box she had, before looking up at her fianceé. “Do you remember the red ascot scarf mom gifted me? I can’t find it anywhere!”

“No, no I don’t,” Alisha said, her tone hesitant. Her eyes trailed Gigi as she got up, approaching the dresser inside the room to look there. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

“Yes! If only I could find this stupid scarf!” The black-haired woman started to go through drawers as the blonde watched with concerned eyes. She was about to go crazy, thinking of the unclear night she spent with her ex-partner when she suddenly remembered the scarf she didn’t see in a while, getting up to look for it hours ago. She went through everything once, and was in her second round when her fianceé came home to find her going maniac. “What were you saying?”

“The wedding planner said you didn’t call her back.” The black-haired woman stopped, realizing she completely forgot about the wedding with everything going on in her life. She looked at her partner with apologizing eyes before gathering her words.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy,” she said, defeated. It didn’t exactly help her case that she still was busy, and would be for another week. “Would it be okay if I call her after fashion week?”

Alisha looked at her disappointed, tired of the constant delay she faced, “What are we waiting for, Gee?” she asked as she watched her fianceé go back to the drawers. “We don’t even have a certain date yet! You asked for a year, no contact, I gave it to you. I’m asking for this wedding, I’m working hard to have it the way you would want it… I’m starting to think you don’t want it at all.”

“Baby, I’m sorry,” Gigi stated, but she didn’t even bother to look up. Her mind was blocking everything but one thing: the  _ “stupid” ascot  _ scarf she deemed to be lucky.

“You won’t even look up to me!” Alisha protested, dropping both hands to her sides. It still didn’t work, and her fianceé still seemed as uninterested as ever.

“Alisha… I just… I really, really need to find it. Okay? I will give her a call.” The black-haired woman tried to reassure, but she wasn’t very convincing with the lack of eye contact and attention. The blonde left defeated, as Gigi didn’t even feel slight remorse.

The red-haired woman walked into the pantry area, lost in her thoughts before she saw the person she tried avoiding that day. She glanced at Gigi before approaching next to her, where the coffee pot was placed, and pouring herself her next coffee, like she didn’t already have an ungodly amount for the day.

“You could have left at an appropriate time, you know,” she said, not looking up from her task. “I don’t bite.”

The black-haired woman examined the shorter one for a second. The feeling of guilt that filled her gut every time she looked at her seemed to grow, and maybe even overflowing with how her throat felt closed up. But, it didn’t have a trace of her fianceé in it. Gigi was feeling guilty for confusing Crystal the way she did, for not being able to keep away from her, not for having a fianceé.

“Your words do,” Gigi answered finally, mirroring Crystal with the not looking towards the other. With how unclear the night was, she didn’t want to say something wrong. “I just needed to leave early, it’s not about you.”

“Oh, to go back home to your fianceé?” the red-haired woman asked, making sure it would poke in the right place before looking up to Gigi, showing her a lovely, mocking smile. It wasn’t like she was expecting everything to fix magically, but the least they could have was to have the decency to wake up together and she was annoyed Gigi decided to leave.

The black-haired woman rolled her eyes before turning around to pour one more coffee for herself. With the approaching fashion week in the city, she was busier than ever and needed every last bit of energy. She glanced at Crystal’s sweet coffee with disgusted eyes before pouring herself a pitch black one, “I don’t need to hide anything from her.”

“But you didn’t exactly tell her now, did you?” Crystal pushed further, confusing both herself and Gigi with her willingness to talk about the night.

“Why do you need to know so bad?” The taller woman avoided the conversation that needed to be had sooner or later like it was a disease. She knew Crystal wanted answers, but she didn’t have them.

The red-haired woman took a second before answering, “To make sure I’m not some revenge plaything.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth, could you?” Gigi asked, one eyebrow raised as she cornered Crystal with her dark eyes. “Look, Crys… Crystal. It is what it is, okay? I am in an open relationship, and was feeling lonely last night apparently, it’s quite hazy to tell. And we have all this… unresolved tension. I was drawn to you, and had a good time, I won’t lie. But I don’t need to explain all of this to you, Alisha, or anyone else.”

“It depends on whether the other side deserves to know or not, don’t you think?” Crystal answered. She was hurt, realizing how nothing was going to change despite it all. A part of her wished for it all to go back whilst a more rational part of her knew there was no going back now, and this wasn’t the Gigi she once adored. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” The black-haired woman’s voice was firm as another person entered the room, making the bickering pair get away from each other quickly. The blonde girl shot a confused glare towards them as Crystal approached the table and she poured herself a new cup of coffee before sitting across Crystal, who was eerily quiet just like Gigi.

_ It is what it is.  _ No _ ‘I missed you’ _ left from the night, no sympathy towards one another. The red-haired woman kept her head low as her head was full of thoughts of chaos. She should’ve known better that it won’t be and she felt nothing but a warm boil in her stomach, the feeling of resentment towards the stupidity she let herself slip into that evening. 

The more she thought about it, the more she felt frustrated and agitated by somebody else’s presence, by Gigi. She tried to stop herself from feeling this way before but now, she couldn’t hold any longer. She felt remorse even crossing paths with her once more, let alone being pulled to her once again like the moon lingering around the earth. 

“Are you okay, Crys?” Jan asked, bringing Crystal back down to earth. She shook her head, allowing her eyes to focus before turning to her friend with a little smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, more to convince herself. “What were you saying?”

“Nothing, I didn’t say anything yet.” Jan answered before turning her looks to the other uncomfortable person in the room. “What’s up with you?”

The black-haired woman linked her eyes with her friends, thoughtful of what to talk about, “You know, I had this beautiful red ascot scarf I’ve looked for all day long,” Gigi exclaimed, changing the subject all together. “I can’t find it! It’s like it disappeared!” 

“Why do you need it?” Jan asked, her eyebrows furrowed. She was bored enough to wonder. 

Gigi shrugged, as she knew it was just an excuse to keep herself from overthinking. She looked everywhere; her dressing room, clothing she put aside to donate, every little corner of the house... By the time she was done, the house was as messy as her thoughts, but it still didn’t keep her from being infuriated over the scarf, or more over the pull she had towards the red-haired woman.

“It’s just- It goes well with this one outfit I planned for fashion week, that’s all,” she said, her eyes lingering on Crystal who wouldn’t look up to her. The red-haired woman was suddenly brought back to the day she found the scarf after Gigi left, and how desperate she felt filled her heart as she thought of it. 

“Maybe it’s at our…” she took her second to think of the best way to signal it was at hers.”...home,” Crystal said, still not looking up and her high tone unsure. Gigi furrowed her eyebrows, she just said she looked everywhere. Her eyes suddenly widened when she realized Jan’s presence, looking at her but their coworker was too busy to seem to even be paying attention to their conversation.

“No, I couldn’t-” Gigi responded when Crystal linked their eyes. Then, it dawned on the black-haired woman. It was at her ex’s, from months before since she couldn’t even remember the last time she wore it. “Oh… Let’s not call it that, shall we?” It used to be home, now it was just a sweet memory turned bitter.

“Not my words,”

“That was a different time,” Gigi sweetly replied, her words still filled with venom.

“Did I overwork myself to the point of not understanding basic English? Stupid fashion week, feels like a fashion year...” Jan complained, a puzzled look on her face. Then she shrugged, getting up to go back to work. Crystal got up after her but Gigi’s light touch on her arm stopped her.

“I want that scarf,” she said, obsessed with it by that point. It amused Crystal to find one more thing to tease her with, growing to even enjoy the arguing slowly.

She raised both eyebrows before turning on her heels to face the taller woman, “Oh, really? I don’t have it.”

Gigi rolled her eyes one more time, “Please… You know how much I value my stuff.”

Crystal looked around to make sure they were entirely alone before taking her chance, taking a step closer and getting closer to the black-haired woman. She lowered her voice and leaned towards her ear, “Say my name,” she said, reminding the woman before her the steamy time they’ve had just to solely tease her and annoy her even further. 

The black-haired woman felt her breath hitch before pulling herself together and asking again, “Crystal… Please.”

“And now you’re begging… How cute,” she answered the pleading eyes before her. The dominance was something she wasn’t used to having, but she enjoyed her newly found friend. “I still don’t have it, though. I left it at home.”

With that, she took a step back from the tense woman. She could read how much of an effect she had over her, and it was pleasing to witness. Crystal left, content with herself like how she felt during the first days of them meeting again, leaving Gigi to blush hard before even having time to be mad. It felt devilish even, to get to play with her feelings like that but it was the only way that came to the photographer’s mind to get back to all the  _ playing. _

The stylist was about to succumb to her confusing feelings alone in her desk when she felt her phone vibrate, an incoming text from a friend getting into her phone. It was as if her face lit up, not just from the light of the screen, but due to the fact that someone she was trying to talk with finally wanted to catch up with her, someone that wasn’t also her fianceé’s friend. She immediately responded before grabbing her purse and hurrying down the elevator to meet her friend. 

The platinum blonde lady noticed the furrowed eyebrow and slump shoulders right away, which was the complete opposite of the woman who was walking towards her in a mindless yet excited state. She knew something was up and so the first thing she did was to hook their arms together and tug her to the nearest cafe from the building which just happened to be their comfort spot as well. 

“So bitch, tell me what happened?” Nicky interrogated right on the spot after their orders were taken, curiosity overflowing in her eyes as she looked at her friend who was sitting across the table from her. 

“Where?” Still in her mindless, inattentive state, Gigi was fidgeting with the glass of water they were given. 

“Yesterday, when I ran into you. Where were you before?”

She was caught dumbfounded, just staring aimlessly at Nicky’s face, biting her lower lip in guilt as her fingers tapped on the table. It was enough to go to the French woman’s nerve and so she tightly held onto Gigi’s hand to stop her from tapping, staring at her with her curious eyes. 

“I didn’t leave with Alisha. She probably went home with that Taylor girl she used to hang out with.”

“Then who did you go home with?” Gigi just stared at her. “Wait, you bitch!” The cafe customers were surprised at the sudden loud voice from Nicky. She softened her voice and moved closer to her friend, leaning over the table. “How? Why? What?”

“I was frustrated with Alisha and I had a few drinks… Jackie called me a cab and the driver brought me there.”

“And did you? She let you in, right?” Gigi nodded. “Bitch, you’re making me so furious. Why?!” 

“Why what?”

“Aren’t you done playing with her feelings?”

“I am not playing with her feelings.”

“Then why are you crawling back to her? You’re just hurting her.” Gigi stayed silent for a second, thinking of an answer she couldn’t come up with. 

“I missed her,” she finally said, her voice low like a child who knew they were in the wrong. She knew it wasn’t a good enough excuse, but it was her only one.

“Missing someone is not enough. You either go with it or leave her to protect her from another set of pain,” the platinum blonde woman said, speaking calmer this time. 

“I don’t want to lose her…” Gigi said, despite knowing she lost her chance the moment she walked out of the door of Crystal’s old house, the moment she stepped out of the life she didn’t exactly know what she left for.

“Do you think what you are doing right now is making her stay? Even as your friend?”

“She probably hates me. In fact, I’m sure she hates me.” The furious, flushed face of Crystal came before her eyes, alongside a sharp, stabbing pain on her chest. Her careless actions were the cause of the pain of both of them, and she despised herself for it.

“And she has every right to feel that way.”

“But I want to make it up to her! She meant a lot to me.”

“Bitch,” Nicky pointed at the engagement ring, which suddenly felt like a burden on her hand. “What is this? What is all this wedding planning if your heart is not set to marry Ali?”

“I love her, Nicky! Everyone in my family loves her, all my friends love her. She’s been with me all throughout these six years.” Gigi started rambling on. Her mind continued to try and convince her, to think of different reasons why she should be staying and choosing Alisha instead of the red-haired woman. She could’ve ended with her first statement but her mind kept on trying to make her want to believe in what she was saying. “My friends are her friends, my mom adores her so much. I think sometimes she loves her more than me. Ali’s the one who helped me figure out my sexuality, who I’m supposed to be. She’s the one I first made love with. She’s done a lot for the person that I am today. This wedding is what everyone expects from me.”

“I know you’ve had issues even before you left… Is it Alisha? Is that why you’re so hesitant about all of this, why you sought Crystal in the first place?” Gigi groaned. She didn’t want to admit they weren’t on the best terms anymore, not after years of being together.

“No, really, no,” she denied profusely. “Yeah we argue from time to time, but honestly, who doesn’t? We’re both very stressed, I can’t really blame her to be honest. On top of that, I know how I can be sometimes… Bratty, annoying, clingy…”

Nicky cut her friend off, not letting her tear herself off. She wasn’t half convinced it wasn’t about how Alisha was, especially after knowing Gigi for a while now, “Are you still in love with her?” She was anticipating Gigi’s answer but was left disappointed with silence. She exhaled a deep sigh before whispering. “You have to choose, Geege.”

“ _ She was  _ my home…” Gigi said, not really knowing which one of the women she meant. 

  
  


“Well, thank you for this, Nicky.”

“And thank you for giving me a headache, Genevieve.” The black-haired woman waved her hand to her friend and turned her back when she was suddenly surprised at the woman standing next to her. She looked at her and saw her friend yet again. “I thought you’re going back to your office.”

“I have to drop something off.” Nicky lifted the small paper bag on her hand while flashing her friend a huge smile on her face. The gesture made Gigi roll her eyes, realizing the reason why she was being followed in the elevator. 

As they both reached their office floor, Nicky gave Gigi one last kiss on the cheek before bidding her goodbye and walking to the company boss’ office, leaving Gigi alone near the door of the elevator. She watched as her friend entered her boss’ office and exchanged smiles. Seeing how happy her friend was as she delivered a small meal for Jaida brought some warm sensation in her chest, excited to see how Nicky was becoming a sweet and thoughtful woman, unlike her usual female casanova self. She then noticed a coworker passing by in her peripheral vision. She couldn’t help but be intrigued as well as just to avoid observing her friend and her boss being all giddy. 

Then there it was, a feeling stirring in the pit of her stomach as she watched her coworker walk up to the photographer’s desk. The black-haired woman observed as her coworker held onto Crystal’s desk, her upper body leaning closer to the red-haired woman almost too low. She saw how the woman tossed her luscious brown hair to the side, giggling at whatever the photographer was talking about. Her lungs were gasping for air as a familiar feeling started to uproar in her chest. What’s different was that she was feeling it more for Crystal than she did for Alisha. The irritating feeling frustrated her even further as the conversation with Nicky came to mind once again. 

The pair of brown eyes now looking at her didn’t help her at all. If looks could burn, Crystal’s eyes would have turned her into ash already. She could feel the tension building up once again but all the fear and uncertainty numbed her to feel any anger or resentment towards the red-haired woman. If she had to be honest, the pain and guilt was eating her up. Looking into Crystal’s eyes made her feel that way, making her regret ever making that set of beautiful eyes she once adored staring into cry. She regretted leaving the one person she had considered her home. 


	10. Red Scarf

_ “Oh, that’s a pretty scarf!” the red-haired woman said as she entered the room, making her way next to Gigi who seemed lost in her thoughts whilst she stared at the mirror. She had an adorable, in Crystal’s opinion, habit of making sure her outfit would look perfect the night before, but what it actually was was her torturing herself with thoughts of what everyone else would think of her. _

_ “It was my mom’s, actually,” Gigi said as her hand skillfully tied the red fabric around her pale neck. “It’s her first payment as a model, just this piece of fabric. I’ve got paid with clothing too, but this is… Just extreme. She passed it on to me when I started modelling,” the black-haired woman chuckled to herself as her eyes stuck on her reflection, her neck especially. _

_ Crystal was pleasantly surprised to hear Gigi open up about her past. It was a conversation she went to extreme lengths to avoid, but in that moment she was opening up easily, “A family of goddesses, huh?” she asked, snaking her arms around the taller woman’s waist to give her a side hug whilst her chuckling. _

_ “I was never pretty enough for her standards,” she said, her eyes finally finding Crystal but she still seemed distant. Like she was somewhere else in her mind. “Or skinny enough, or tall enough…” _

_ Gigi’s eyes narrowed, thinking of being just fifteen and missing out on so many things her friends, which she quickly lost due to her schedule when, had the opportunity to live. She remembered the extreme dieting to get booked, playing sports since she was a child to make sure she would grow to be tall, the lack of a mother figure for years in her life. _

_ The more she thought about her mother and the dissatisfied look on her face despite every attempt of earning her love, the more it reminded her about her lover back home. The constant criticism alongside never accepting it in return, the narcissism implied as confidence… It was suddenly all eerily familiar. _

_ Gigi started feeling uncomfortable, shifting in her place before relaxing back into the shorter woman’s arms. It was wrong to think of her mother or the woman she was planning to marry as that. They were both women she deeply loved, and as hard as their love in return felt, it was love nevertheless, she thought to herself. _

_ Crystal was at a loss for words, but Gigi didn’t care and continued without a cue. Her mother was a touchy subject she wouldn’t discuss with anyone else, but it came naturally with the red-haired woman’s presence, “I remember her freaking out when I told her I didn’t want to be in front of cameras like she was. I said I would do the runways, the commercials without getting involved in the rest.” A giggle escaped her lips to what her younger self thought was rebelling against her mother. “Anyways! Are we good with the outfit?” _

_ “You make everything you wear look like art,” Crystal said, making the black-haired woman turn to her with a small smile on her face. She leaned down to give a little peck, appreciating every word that left the pink lips she loved so dearly.  _

_ “That’s why I get booked,” she joked, only halfway through, before they spared a second to get lost in another’s eyes. She couldn’t help but realize, every second she spent with Crystal she felt content with herself. _

_ Crystal was the one to break the silence, “I adore you trying on every outfit the night before.” If only she knew it was because growing up her mother approved every single outfit beforehand, or when she left home it was Alisha criticizing and critiquing her and her fashion sense so she made sure it was perfect the night before, Gigi thought to herself. “But can we sleep now? Today was exhausting.” _

_ Gigi swiped a lock of scarlet red hair off of the tan face before her, making Crystal hum as an instinct. She was trying hard to make it as a photographer, and as much as the black-haired woman was doing anything in her power to help her, it was still her creativity at the end of the day that felt sucked out of her and left her exhausted, “You go ahead, love. I will be there in a second.” _

\--------------

The moment Crystal stepped into the cramped backstage, she knew she would have a headache that night. It was madness, to say the least. From frantically working makeup artists to designers and stylists making last minute changes, it was an organized chaos. A lot of things weren’t going the way they had planned and knowing that this was her first fashion week event, she wanted everything to go as smoothly as it can be. However, that seemed to be an impossibility. 

The deep brown eyes of hers scanned the room quickly, wanting to get rid of the small box in her bag that felt like a burden. It was the least she could do to alleviate the worries she had in her head. At last, she linked eyes with the black-haired woman, approaching her with quick steps as she seemed to go back to whatever she was doing before.

The tall woman didn’t even bat an eye while looking at the dress on her hand, much more focused than Crystal has ever seen her, “I really don’t have time to argue,” she mumbled under her breath, her eyes narrowed, as Crystal pulled out the little box.

“I hope you didn’t change your outfit,” she said, shoving the box on her free hand. Gigi looked at the box dumbfounded, before glancing at the red-haired woman. It was the last thing she expected to happen when she saw the woman coming up to her, her mouth left agape at the woman’s actions. 

She was speechless against the nice gesture, a small smile occupying her face before she spoke, “Is this my scarf?” Crystal answered with a simple nod. Everything else that was stressful because of all the unforeseen challenges of that night seemed to have melted down away from Gigi’s mind when she received the garment she had been looking for. “Thank you! Gosh, thank you!” 

“Don’t even mention it,” the red-haired woman stated before turning around. A part of her was happy to make Gigi happy, to return something so meaningful to its rightful owner. She hoped to at least keep their relationship all professional from now on, so this was a step forward for her. 

Crystal was about to go and look for Brita when her ex-partner called her name, making her turn on her heels, “Since you love doing my job as a stylist…” The photographer tilted her head, making a gesture as a way of saying  _ ‘Really?’ _ before Gigi continued, “I think I want to change the shoes that goes with this dress. Nude or red?”

She knew that the woman before her would go with the louder choice, and finally felt relief due to the fact that it was actually what she wanted to hear a confirmation of, “Red, definitely.” 

She saw another smile making an appearance on Gigi’s face, a genuine smile that she hadn’t seen for ages. Finally, they had a conversation that did not involve them bickering, which felt like weight lifted off her shoulders. With that in mind, Crystal turned back and left to go find her coworker and started setting up. She had to take photographs of the preparation stages, the last rehearsal, and finally, the models before they stepped onto the runway; so she had no time to overthink, to her benefit.

It was all flowing, as much as it could with how insanely busy everyone was when Crystal realized a dark-skinned woman with the biggest sunglasses and a venti cup of Starbucks coffee plopping next to the makeup chair she was standing beside. She raised an eyebrow, taking a quick glance at the woman before turning back to her camera settings.

“What? You don’t think my hangover beauty is worth taking a shot?” the brunette woman asked with a mocking tone before taking her sunglasses off and placing it next to all the makeup laid out before her. 

Crystal let out a chuckle as a makeup artist approached them, rushing to get the late model up to schedule. Both women took a look at the man with the messed up hair, picking out products with a mad look in his face before Crystal answered, “That sarcasm doesn’t work on literal models, especially the ones as successful as you are.”

“All I’m hearing is that you find me hot and think I’m famous,” she answered as the artist swatched a foundation on her face. The red-haired woman giggled, adoring the confidence and carefree energy the brunette was radiating. 

“I’ve seen you here and there, yeah,” she answered before positioning the camera before her eyes and taking a quick shot, which was ruined by the woman making a funny face. “Hey! Don’t ruin the shot!” 

“Is  _ ‘here and there’ _ supposed to mean everywhere?” Crystal rolled her eyes before catching an off-guard moment of the woman to take another candid picture. She tried to scan her brain and remember the model’s name, but it wouldn’t come to her as much as she tried. 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you stay still,” she answered. She had her shot and knew she could leave already but was rather intrigued about her. So the red-haired photographer pretended to take another picture, the brunette waiting to ruin it by making another silly face before the makeup artist dropped his hands to his sides frustrated.

“Stop before I destroy both of you,” he said casually, making both women giggle before realizing he was still shooting dagger-like glares. Crystal stepped back to gesture she was leaving, but she giggled along with the woman on the makeup chair when they made eye contact for one last time.

After months of preparation, hours of chaos, and finally minutes of standing around; it was time for the collection to be shown off. Crystal was next to Brita before the prop as the models started coming in for their last shot before the show, Gigi and the rest of their stylists watching for last minute changes. Almost all the models were led to the long hallway leading to the runway, except for a one certain, late one. Brita was busy with taking a look at the rest of the pictures when she came up, leaving Crystal to deal with her.

“Hi again, pretty photographer person,” she joked before posing for her first picture. 

“It’s Crystal,” she replied as she lowered the camera to check the picture. She looked up with a smile to see the brunette woman smiling real big back at her. “And, what’s your name?”

“What’s my name?” she asked, shocked. Crystal replied with a shrug, she really couldn’t remember it even if it felt like it was on the tip of her tongue. “Well, you don’t have to know it, I suppose.”

“Move a little bit to your right,” she ordered and the model obliged. They took another picture, acting like they weren’t running late as they took their sweet time. “And the answer is?”

“Answer? Oh, it’s Priyanka,” she said as Crystal walked closer to her, taking a closer shot. She lowered the camera for the last time as the brunette examined her further, one hand of hers finding the arm of the photographer to brush off a piece of string but leaving it there a little longer. “Will I see you at the after party, pretty photographer person with the pretty name?”

“How did you know my full name?” Crystal joked, chuckling along. She realized the big eyes before her was waiting for an answer, but all she wanted to do was avoid the possibility of letting someone enter her life this soon. She didn’t feel ready yet, no matter how fun it sounded, “Aren’t you running late?”

“Oh, yeah,” Priyanka said, surprised like she didn’t know what she was there for before getting ready to leave to join the rest of the models. She turned to Crystal one last time before sprinting out with her high heeled shoes, “I’ll see you before the party, as a punishment for avoiding me!” she yelled before leaving Crystal’s sight. 

The red-haired woman shook her head, maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea. With the situation she had with her ex-partner now, she could use distraction, furthermore proving herself when she felt the slight loyalty she still had for Gigi. 

While turning around, she realized a particular stylist’s piercing looks on her while everyone else started leaving to where the real show was. The scarf was now on her delicate neck, falling right over the tattoo she had, which for a reason got on Crystal’s nerves. She had to go where Gigi was standing next to, unfortunately, but she did her best to avoid her looks. 

“You have a thing for models, huh?” Gigi said, unable to hold back after the scene unfolding before her. She tried her best to ignore the jealousy she was feeling, to interpret it as just the usual bickering she had with Crystal.

Crystal shot her a quick look, “I think it’s more that they have a thing for me.”

“Yeah, right.” The taller woman scoffed before walking in front of the mirror near where Crystal was, dropping the folder on her hand down whilst making the other step back and rolling her eyes as she realized there were a bunch of other mirrors surrounding them in the room they were in. “Only if you could keep it professional in the workplace,” she mumbled under her breath but Crystal heard it clearly.

“And  _ you  _ can keep it professional? By starting a fight?” the red-haired woman asked before walking away to a back room, but she heard the other calling before she could make it in.

“I’m not starting anything! You’re the one that is constantly on my back!” she followed the shorter woman, making her turn around with an unbelieving look. 

Crystal realized all of the fights they’ve had were both of their faults, and acted accordingly to that, and she imagined Gigi would at least have the decency to acknowledge it too, “See, you could easily not say that, and not start this fight but here we are! Once again, fighting.”

“Oh because you’re an-” Gigi stopped at her tracks when Crystal turned and entered the room, not wanting to hear more of what would hurt her. She followed her in, “I’m not done with you. You could at least listen, and maybe then we could stop fighting!”

The red-haired woman put the camera down next to some other equipment before turning around. She didn’t have the energy to yell anymore, “What do you want me to listen to? Oh, should we be friends now? Do you want to talk to me about your day, maybe your fianceé?”

“I never said that.”

“Then what are you saying Gigi? You keep saying whatever you want to say, no matter who your words hurt. Why can’t I do the same?” 

Crystal didn’t realize her body moving closer and closer to the black-haired woman, to seem more threatening but also, feeling like she was magnetic. Gigi was now trapped between the flushed, furious woman and the door behind her, looking down at the agape, pink lips with taken aback eyes. Their breaths were now heaved, their minds full of memories from the night they’ve recently spent together. Their noses were filled with each other’s scents, Crystal’s eyes shifting from the woman’s lips and eyes, the ardent look in her eyes seemed to be fuming with flames. But she couldn’t help it, standing too close to the black-haired woman was both a pain and a pleasure for her. Pain that continued to hurt her due to all the history they left behind and the pleasure of all the sweet memories they once shared. 

“That’s not what I meant, Crystal. You know I never meant to hurt yo-” The photographer was so done with all the excuses that came out of Gigi’s mouth, her face flushing red as the anger occupied her mind. 

The red-haired woman was the first one to kiss this time, not denying the pull they’ve had anymore. She connected their lips with a quick peck, only for Gigi to lean down and pull her into a long and deep kiss. They were too engrossed on each other to even think of morals, so all Crystal focused on was feeling the taller woman’s perfect body, finally letting loose with her chest rising up and down against the black-haired girl, catching her breath between the kisses with all the emotions coming together in her mind.

With the words she couldn’t address in her mind, Gigi took the dominance in her hand, switching positions and pushing Crystal to the door. She was mad and confused, tired of always being the one to blame. Her kiss was harsh, her pull on the red-haired woman’s bottom lip made a little moan escape her before she moved to kissing her jawline down to her neck, leaving the shorter woman beneath her throwing her head back and gasping for air. 

With both of their hearts and minds fueled with frustration, they took turns pushing each other to wherever they could reach, asserting dominance as they didn’t want each other to win against their tension-filled argument. However, Gigi was the first to surrender in their seemingly unending battle as Crystal pushed her on top of a table, slightly lifting her up so she could sit on top, the red-haired woman positioning herself in between the stylist’s thighs as she kissed her intensely. Their hands were both on each other’s clothes, tugging and unbuttoning in a swift motion before they pressed their bodies against each other’s skin while sharing another rough kiss. 

“Is this really what you want me to do? To keep crawling back to you just because you called out my name, just because you were being nice to me one second. Is this what you want?” Crystal mumbled while unbuttoning Gigi’s clothes. Her hands were trembling with anger as the exasperation of fighting with this woman kept going again and again crept into her mind. She took the woman’s brassiere and pulled it up to reveal her breasts, left amused at how beautiful Gigi looked beneath her. However, being distracted wasn’t something Crystal wanted and thinking about her like that would alleviate her plan. So, she wrapped one arm around the woman’s waist and pulled her close before taking one of her nipples in between her lips. She used her other hand to cover the lady’s mouth in anticipation of her loud moans that may resonate outside the small room they were in.

The black-haired woman tried to remain silent but her desires failed her. It didn’t take time until she repeatedly moaned Crystal’s name under her breath whilst she pulled her skirt up to give the photographer access. She was melting underneath her, surrendering from all the fights she had with her and within herself. She was calling ceasefire, just wanting to let loose and be with the woman she wanted to be with. “Crys, I want you…” She muttered between the moans, wanting to address the former statement from the shorter woman but also yearning for her next moves. 

Hearing the longing on Gigi’s voice, Crystal’s face became more flustered. It wasn’t because of the way she missed hearing that from the black-haired woman, she was infuriated with the nerve this woman had, to even yearn for her and expect her to keep coming back to her as if she was a toy to play with. She knew her worth and could just pack it up and leave but Gigi was a magnet and she merely was a metal attracted to her despite denying it all. 

“I was serious when I said I missed you,” When the black-haired woman got a chance to look at her, she confessed. But at this point, Crystal was done with all the dilly-dally between them. She didn’t want to listen to any other excuses or words that she knew would make her go head over heels over Gigi just like before. She took the beautiful ascot scarf barely hanging on the taller woman’s neck and used it to conceal her mouth, subtly telling her to shut up with all her lies and to cover up with all the moans that might be heard from the outside. 

The red-haired woman couldn’t take her eyes off of her as she used the tip of her fingers to gently and teasingly brush against her sensitive core, making the taller woman twitch under her touch. Without any warning, she pushed two fingers inside her, watching as Gigi’s eyes turned white after rolling it back with all the pleasure she was receiving. She could see the woman trying to remove the scarf and pull her closer for a kiss but Crystal rejected her advances. “You don’t get to kiss me. You don’t get to pull me back as if you’ve never pushed me away.” 

Gigi looked away, her mind rushing with different thoughts as the satisfaction of her desires continued to wash all over her body. Her face was all red from all the heat between them but it only concealed the true emotions she was feeling inside. Crystal’s words were persistently bugging her head, her chest clenching as the pain surfaced once again. She was tired of being blamed but she couldn’t not blame herself for the suffering she caused the innocent woman. 

Her mind was focused on another thing yet the pleasures of her body brought her a sudden euphoria as her stomach clenched, her fingers gripping onto the edge of the table as she was brought to her release. She wanted to ride her high, circling her hips against the woman’s hands. However, it was cut short when Crystal immediately pulled out her fingers drenched in her sweet juices. 

The red-haired woman busied herself as she looked for a handkerchief from her pocket when Gigi pulled her by the collar of her shirt and tried to capture her lips which the woman immediately rejected. She looked at her dead in the eyes and whispered, almost spitting the words out of her mouth. “You don’t get to hurt me anymore, Gigi. I won’t let you do it all over again.” 

With that, Crystal turned her back to fix her clothes as she made her way to the door. Her hands were quivering with all the emotions boiling inside her but she didn’t want to succumb into any of that, not in front of Gigi. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii! sorry if this chapter took so long to write. we hope you enjoy it tho. have a great day <3 -y  
> OKAI SO HI AGAIN! i listened to an ungodly amount of u wear it well writing this bc ITS PRIYANKA hi its me pri lmao anywayyy hope you enjoyed thisssss, although its late bc schools kicking my ass and all that..... see you in the next one!! -b

**Author's Note:**

> we can't write seperately anymore sooo here goes another one! hope you enjoyed so far, bear w us bc we have amazing plans ahead anddd see you on the next one! <3 -b


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